


Without You

by andyisadreamer



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Alternate Reality, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-13 03:32:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 35,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3366137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andyisadreamer/pseuds/andyisadreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benedick wakes up in a world where he never existed, only to find that his friends' lives are miserable without him. Pedro and Bea are dating, Balthazar was bullied so bad that he had to transfer schools, Ursula suffers from a social anxiety disorder, Meg is pregnant with Robbie's baby, Robbie is 'cheating' on Meg with Hero....And the only person who can fix this mess is Ben. God help us all.</p><p>ON HOLD UNTIL I FINISH UNIVERSITY (June 2016)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beatrice and Pedro

Benedick's first thought when he opened his eyes: _what prank has Bea pulled on me this time?_

Falling in love was supposed to bring about the end of their 4-year-long feud, but in some respects it had actually made things a lot worse. It meant that Beatrice had 24 hour access to his home, his secrets, and, more importantly, to his heart. And she took advantage of all of those things to occasionally re-assert her authority over him with a well-executed practical joke. Ever since they had officially started dating his Tumblr and Twitter accounts had been hacked 6 times, his favourite t-shirts had been replaced with ones that read 'Hi, my name is...Pedro's Beetch', and 'The Bathman' (accompanied by a picture of an elderly Batman sitting in a bath), and the other day he came home to discover that she had somehow managed to convince his Mum to paper his bedroom walls in flamingo pink. 

So, upon waking up in the middle of the Messina High School football pitch - with no idea how he got to be there - he immediately suspected fowl play (oh, come on. Who could resist that pun?).  

"Do you think he's okay?"

"He probably just got drunk and passed out."

"He's in his pyjamas!"

"Maybe he sleep-walked?"

Ben heard the voices from across the field. They were lowered, but he would have recognised them anywhere. He sat up so quickly that Beatrice and Pedro, watching him from the sidelines, jumped backwards in shock. 

"I knew it!" he cried, scrambling to his feet. "This was you, wasn't it?!" He pointed accusingly at Beatrice.

Beatrice looked alarmed. "I'm sorry?" Pedro moved to stand between her and Ben protectively, but Beatrice rolled her eyes and pushed him aside. 

"You _should_ _be_ sorry! Do you know how disorientating it is to wake up somewhere different to where you fell asleep? I _know_ you do; we read the same psychological study on sleep disorders."

"Told you he sleep-walked," Pedro muttered. 

Beatrice continued to stare at him, that same half-annoyed, half-bemused expression on her face. "Do I know you from somewhere?" she asked.

Ben snorted. "Pretending not to know who I am? _Really?_ Is that the best you've got? Running a bit low on ideas are we?"

"Listen, bro," Pedro said, starting forwards again, "I don't know who you are, but I'd prefer it if you didn't talk to my girlfriend like that-"

"Girlfriend!" Ben barked out a laugh. "OK - credit where credit's due, that's pretty original. Which one of you came up with that? Or was it Balthazar's idea? Is he here somewhere, too?" Ben scanned around for Pedro's secretly scheming boyfriend. "Come out, come out, Balthy! Pun intended!" 

Pedro and Beatrice exchanged a glance. 

"Who's Balthazar?" Pedro asked.

"Maybe he means that kid that transferred out in year nine? Remember him?"

"Oh, yeah," Pedro nodded slowly, "Wasn't he the one that got bullied so bad he had to leave?"

"Yeah. Nobody knew it was happening until the creeps broke his hand. His parents had them charged with assault. It was all over the local news." 

"What are you guys _talking_ about?" Ben was exasperated. "I'm all for commitment to a prank, but aren't you taking this a bit far? And Pedro...seriously? Joking around about someone beating the crap out of your boyfriend? That's not even funny."

Pedro looked like he wasn't sure which piece of information to tackle first. "How do you know my name? And what do you mean by 'boyfriend'? I'm not _gay_." 

"I can attest to that," Beatrice said, with a little smirk. 

"Urgh, _gross_." Ben pulled a face. "Now you've _really_  crossed a line."

"I'm sorry, mate. But I really don't know what you're talking about."

Ben glanced between his two best friends. If they were faking this, then they were doing a pretty convincing job. When he stared into Beatrice's eyes he saw...nothing. No warmth, no recognition...it was almost like she genuinely didn't know who he was. 

"Ok, you guys are starting to scare me now..."

"Maybe he's escaped from somewhere?" Beatrice muttered. 

"I'm _not_ crazy!" Ben folded his arms across his chest. "You're crazy!"

Pedro drew his hands out of the pockets of his letterman jacket and walked right up to him. "I have a phone here if you want to call someone to come and pick you up?" His tone was gentle, but Ben took it as condescending. 

Ben slapped Pedro's outstretched hand away. "I'm not crazy, and I'm _not_ hungover. Something weird is going on here. You guys are my best friends...why are you acting like this?"

"I hate to burst your bubble, kid, but we've never seen you before in our lives," Pedro said, kindly but firmly. 

"Don't use the royal 'we'," Beatrice said, frowning. She turned to Ben. "But, no, yeah, I have no idea who you are, either."

Ben almost laughed. Even in this bizarre, dream-world (where apparently his two best friends didn't recognise him) Beatrice was still a bad-ass, self-possessed feminist. He had been scolded several times for 'speaking _for_ her' since they had started dating. _I have my_ own _voice Benedick, and I know how to use it._ Ben would give anything to hear her yell at him about that one more time. Whatever was happening right now, he wanted it to stop. 

"My name is Benedick Hobbes," he said, glancing between the two of them. "Do you really not know who I am?"

"Bene _dick_?" Beatrice stared at him in disbelief. "What sort of a name even is that?" _  
_

Most people in his situation would have started freaking out right about now, but Ben had read and watched enough science-fiction to realise what was happening. Whether this was a dream, a nightmare, or real life, he had somehow been transported to a world where nobody knew who he was. An alternate reality where Benedick Hobbes never existed. And apparently, in his absence, Beatrice had decided to date Pedro. And without Balthazar around, Pedro had fallen straight into her arms ( _straight_ being the operative word).  

"Everything is wrong," Ben mumbled, rubbing his temples. "So, _so_ wrong." He reached out and grabbed Pedro suddenly by the shoulders. "What about Hero? And Claudio? Are they alright? Meg? Ursula? Where is everyone else?" 

Pedro shook free of his grasp. "Calm down, dude!"

"How do you know my cousin?" Beatrice demanded. Before she had obviously found him insane, but charming. But mentioning Hero and made him a potential threat, and _that_ she could not take lightly.

"We...uh...I go to Messina, too."

"Really?" Pedro's eyes narrowed. "I've never seen you around."

"I'm new. Just transferred. I met Hero during orientation. She offered to show me to one of my classes." 

Beatrice still looked suspicious. 

"Hero offered to show you around? _Willingly_?" More than suspicious, Pedro just looked shocked. 

"Yeah. Of course. She's the sweetest person anyone's ever met."

"Not anymore," Beatrice said darkly, and a chill ran down Ben's spine.

"Why? What happened to her?"

"That's none of your business," Bea snapped. "Come on, Pedro. We don't want to be late for class."

That was when Ben noticed the other students slowly starting to filter in through the gates. Everyone was staring at him. He glanced down at his damp pyjamas and frowned. In a world where he never existed, how was he supposed to find a change of clothes? 

"What am I supposed to do now?" he wondered aloud.

"I suggest a psychiatrist," Beatrice said. 

Ben watched his girlfriend walk away, side-by-side with Pedro. He was satisfied to see that they weren't holding hands. It was nice to know that even in a world where Benedick Hobbes wasn't around, Beatrice still knew deep down that she was never meant to be with Pedro Donaldson.

Speaking of meant-to-be, where was Balthazar Jones? One of the things that Ben knew about alternate-dimension stories was that there was always one person who believed him and helped him to change everything back to the way it was supposed to be. It couldn't be Beatrice or Pedro - they were both realists. And after stumbling across him lying on the soccer pitch in his pyjamas, they already thought that he was mentally unstable. No, they would never believe him. The only viable possibilities, as far as Ben could see, were Ursula, Hero and Balthazar. But Hero, it seemed, was in some trouble of her own that Beatrice had hinted at earlier. Which meant that she was more likely to be part of the problem than the solution. Ben considered waiting around school for Ursula, but he wasn't sure he could sustain the lie of being enrolled at Messina for very long if any teachers discovered him. But Balthazar - if what Bea and Pedro had said was true - was no longer at Messina. Which actually made him an ideal candidate to help with Ben's mission. 

There was only one problem - where was Balthazar? 

Ben attracted a lot of stares as he jogged through the Auckland streets, heading for Balthy's house. He only hoped that in this world, Balthazar still lived in the same place. Things would get a lot trickier if Balthazar had changed cities as well as schools. 

Luckily, when Ben knocked on Balthazar's front door, his sister Rosa answered. "Can I help you?" she asked, leaning against the doorframe. 

"Is Balthy in?"

Rosa's eyes immediately narrowed. She gripped the door tightly by the handle, ready to close it. "Who wants to know?"

"My name is Benedick Hobbes. I'm a...friend of Balthazar's. From school."

"From Mount Albert Grammar School?" 

"Uh...yeah."

Rosa's expression immediately darkened. "Nice try. He goes to Western Springs College." And she slammed the door in his face. 

Ben sighed. This was going to be harder than he thought. 

 

 


	2. Balthazar Jones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben enlists the help of Balthazar Jones.

Ben wasn't one to give up. He had loved Beatrice for four years (albeit subconsciously) before they had eventually gotten together. And if he could wait four years for a girl, he could certainly wait six hours for a boy. 

Ben had been over to Balthazar's house enough times to know where they kept the spare key. When Rosa had left for the day, he let himself in and started ransacking Balthazar's bedroom, looking for a change of clothes that might actually fit him. There was an old hoodie in the very back of Balthy's wardrobe that just about fit him, and he found a white t-shirt that was just long enough to be decent. He had to go into Balthazar's Dad's closet for a pair of trousers, though. 

Balthazar's bedroom wasn't any different to how he remembered it. Musical instruments covered every available wall and surface, and sheet music lay in uneven stacks on his desk and against each wall. There was only one thing missing - the photographs. Balthazar hated to have his picture taken, so to commemorate the few photos that they had actually managed to get of him over the years, Hero and Beatrice had made a collage on the wall above his desk. In his world, there were six printed photos glued to the wall and decorated with fairy lights - one of Balthazar on-stage at his first paid gig, a group shot of their friends with Balthy lurking at the back beside Ursula, three screenshots of Balthazar from Ben and Bea's videos, and a shot of Pedro and Balthazar together at the Year 13 prom. In this world, however, the wall was completely blank. Balthazar was no longer part of the gang. 

Thinking about it, it did make some sort of sense. Back when they had all started at Messina High together, Balthazar had just been the quiet kid who sat at the back of every classroom and fiddled on his ukelele while the teacher taught. He wasn't friends with Pedro or Beatrice. In fact, it had been Ben who had practically dragged Balthazar kicking and screaming to his very first group hang-out. Before he had met Claudio (and after the Beatrice debacle), Balthazar had been Ben's newest and most best-est friend. So it tracked that without Ben around, Balthazar wouldn't have made friends with Pedro and the others. Which meant that Balthazar hadn't had their support when he came out of the closet in year nine... 

"If you've come to beat me up, just get it over with. I have a lot of homework to do."

Ben leapt off of Balthazar's bed. He couldn't even remember falling asleep. His mind had wandered and suddenly it was 6 hours later - home time for all High School students. 

Balthazar stood in the doorway. He looked even smaller and skinnier than normal (which Ben wouldn't have thought possible) and his right hand...there was something not quite right about it. As though it had been broken, and then never re-set properly. 

"Balthazar," Ben gasped, "what happened to you?"

Balthy slipped into his room and shut the door behind him. A pretty bold move for someone who thought Ben was there to torment him. But then, Balthy had always been brave. Some things never changed. 

"Are you from Western Springs College or from Auckland Boys Grammar?" Balthazar asked.

"Messina."

"Ah." Balthazar sat down at his desk and faced Ben. He didn't look wary or afraid, just tired. 

"How many schools have you transferred to exactly?" Ben asked, a feeling of dread settling in the pit of his stomach. He didn't like seeing one of his friends brought so low.

"Springs, Auckland Boys, Kelston and Messina...four schools in four years. It takes roughly about a year for the rumours to start up again..."

"Pedro said that you'd been beaten up," Ben said, "is that true?"

"Pedro? Pedro Donaldson?"

Despite the situation, Ben had to smile. Some things really never did change. Even this Balthazar, who hadn't attended Messina High in years, still lit up at the sound of Pedro's name.

"Yes, Pedro Donaldson. Do you know him?" 

Balthazar ducked his head. "I remember him vaguely. He goes to Messina, right?"

Ben smirked. "Sounds like you already know the answer to that question."

Balthazar glanced up, panicked. "Shit! Don't...I mean, I have no idea what you're saying...Pedro _who?._..um, what are you even...?"

"Calm down," Ben said soothingly, "I'm not here to beat you up, and I'm not here to out you to Pedro. I promise."

"Then what are you doing here?"

Ben sat back down on his bed and leaned in closer to him, so that he could lower his voice. "I need your help."

Balthazar's eyebrows rose. "With what?"

"I know you're probably not going to believe me...but just hear me out, okay?"

Balthazar's eyebrows climbed even higher. 

Ben took a deep breath and began: "My name is Benedick Hobbes. I'm from another world - an alternate dimension to this one. And in my world, you and I are friends. Best friends, even. You helped me write and perform a song for my girlfriend. But this morning I woke up _here_...in a world where Benedick Hobbes never existed. And I need your help to fix everything that went wrong because of it." Ben looked up at Balthy imploringly. "What do you say? Will you help me?"

"I'm afraid the help you need is a little more than I'm qualified to give..."

"I can prove it to you," Ben said confidently. 

Balthazar leaned back and crossed his arms. "Go ahead."

"Alright." Ben tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Music is and always has been your life, your favourite bands are Mumford & Sons and Fife and the Drums, your favourite TV show is Flight of the Conchords, and you've been in love with Pedro Donaldson since year nine."

"That's pretty good," Balthazar said, nodding appreciatively, "you've really done your homework."

Ben frowned. "You've always wanted to go to Brighton, allegedly because it's the sort of place that should have sun but it doesn't, but _I_ think it's probably because Brighton is the gay capitol of the UK."

"Nice try..."

"You wrote and composed a song called 'Ode to Pedro', which goes a little something like... _would his hand fit in yours? I bet it would. Better than any other guy's ever could_..."

"How did you...?"

"Your real first name is Stanley."

"Ok, now you're starting to scare me! How do you know all of this?"

Ben spread his arms wide. "Because in another dimension, you and are are best friends."

"I would _never_ tell anyone my real first name," Balthazar said firmly, "not even my best friend."

"Well, actually, you told it to Pedro, and he _may have_ let it slip at your six-month anniversary party..."

"Wait!" Balthazar's eyes widened. "In your... _world_ , Pedro and I are...?"

"Dating. Yeah."

Balthazar's expression went completely blank. He considered Ben for the longest time. "What do you need me to do?"

Ben straightened up and beamed. "Well, first, I'm going to need somewhere to sleep. Not existing is kind of a problem when it comes to money, accommodation, and food."

"You can sleep on the floor in here," Balthazar offered. "I'll just grab you the air-matress from the basement."

"Thanks, Balthy."

Balthazar hesitated in the doorway, half-turning back towards him. "Just answer me one thing...in your world, can I still play the guitar?"

"Like an Angel."

 

 

Ben woke up the next day refreshed and ready to tackle his mission. Balthazar's bed was empty, and he could hear the sound of pots and pans banging in the kitchen. A few minutes later, Balthazar came in with a mug of tea and two plates of pancakes balanced on his arm. 

"I forgot how good your pancakes were," Ben moaned appreciatively, digging in. "You never make them for me anymore; ever since you started dating Pedro, your superior cooking skills have been reserved just for him."

Balthazar blushed. "So, uh, what exactly is your plan here?"

"My plan?" Ben blinked. "Oh, right, my _plan_. Ummm..."

"You don't have one, do you?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm not usually the sort of guy who wakes up in alternate dimensions. It's not like I've got much experience with this kind of thing!"

Balthazar scooped the last dregs of his pancakes into his mouth one-handed. The other hand - the right one - he kept hidden under the desk. 

"What happened to your hand?" Ben blurted out. 

Balthazar looked down self-consciously. "I broke it."

"Isn't there anything the doctors can do?"

"They've tried everything. Nothing seems to work." They fell silent for a long minute. Balthazar was the one to finally break the awkwardness, "You said that you needed to fix everything that was wrong with this version of reality. What exactly did you mean by that?"

Ben cleared his throat. He recognised a blow-off when he heard one. "Well, for one thing, Beatrice Duke and Pedro Donaldson should _not_ be together."

"Because Pedro is supposed to be with...me?"

"And Beatrice is supposed to be with _me_ ," Ben said firmly. 

Balthazar's eyebrows rose. "Really? From what I remember about Beatrice Duke, you're the sort of guy that would undoubtably get on her nerves."

Ben snorted. "You have no idea, my friend." 

"So what do we do? Break them up?"

"I'm not sure how we're going to do it, but that is the general idea, yes." Ben took a thoughtful bite of his pancakes. "And we also need to do something about Hero."

"Hero? As in, Hero _Duke?_ "

"Yeah. You know her?"

Balthazar looked incredulous. "Are you kidding? _Everyone_ knows Hero Duke."

"Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good." 

"What she did to Claudio was big news, even at my school," Balthazar admitted. 

Ben lowered his knife and fork slowly to his empty plate. "What _she_ did to _Claudio_...?"

"Yeah. She cheated on him with Robbie Borrachio. Then, when Claudio called her out on it at her sixteenth birthday party, she went into seclusion for months, eventually ending up in hospital. She's been really messed up about it ever since, or so I've heard. There's even a rumour going around that she fell in with the wrong crowd and started doing drugs-"

" _Drugs?_ " Ben's eyes bulged. " _Hero Duke?_ You can't be serious!"

Balthazar shrugged. "It's just what I heard. Mind you, I get a lot of my gossip third-hand these days. Nobody's really clamouring to be my friend, if you know what I mean..."

Ben sat there in a daze. Things were even worse than he'd first thought. Beatrice dating Pedro was one thing, but apparently a world without Benedick Hobbes meant a world where Claudio had gotten away with slut-shaming Hero at her sixteenth birthday. Again, thinking about it, Ben could see how it had happened. He had been one of Hero's strongest advocates after the birthday party incident. It had been as much his brain-child as Bea's to hold the fake memorial service at Western Springs, where Claudio and Pedro were finally able to admit how wrong they'd been. Without him there to help and support her, Beatrice must have been unable to clear her cousin's name. Which meant that Claudio and everyone else still thought that she was a cheater. Ben couldn't imagine what that must have done to poor, innocent Hero. He shuddered even thinking about it. 

"What I don't understand is how Beatrice could date Pedro after what he and Claudio did to her cousin," Ben said, frowning. "And what about John? Surely he would have come clean after Hero went into hospital?"

"What are you muttering about?" Balthazar asked, clearing away their breakfast things.

Ben shook his head wordlessly. There was a lot more wrong with this world than he'd first thought. If he was going to fix all of this, he would need access to Beatrice, Pedro, and the others, and that meant enrolling at Messina. But he couldn't do it alone...

" _Heeey_ , Balthazar..."

Balthazar stiffened. He looked around and saw Ben watching him, fluttering his eyelashes winningly. Or at least attempting to. "I'm not going to like this, am I?" he sighed.

"Oh, definitely not. But if you want to get into Pedro's pants anytime soon - and, come on, we both know that he is the only reason you agreed to help me at all - then you have to take one for the team."

"What do you need me to do?"


	3. Cora Petunia Anderson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balthazar enrols back at Messina High, and Benedick runs into another person who needs his help.

"I still don't understand why I have to be the one to do this."

"Um, maybe because I don't have any transcripts. Or any evidence of test results for the past 9 years. Or a _birth certificate_."

Balthazar sighed, gripping the straps of his backpack a little tighter. They were standing outside the Messina High gates, watching the other students slowly filter past on their way to class. It had taken an entire week to convince Balthazar's parents to let him reenrol back at Messina. They couldn't understand why he would want to go back to a place that had caused him so much pain and heart-ache in the past. Balthazar couldn't quite believe it himself. But Ben needed someone on the inside, and Balthazar was all he had. 

"Now that I'm here, what exactly is it that you want me to do?" Balthazar asked.

Ben rubbed his hands together, looking suspiciously Disney-villian-esque. "Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to keep an eye on Pedro, Beatrice and the others. And if at all possible, break those two up." 

"How do you expect me to do that?"

"I don't know. Stick your tongue down Pedro's throat and see what happens?"

Balthazar rolled his eyes. "I'm so glad we've got a mastermind like you behind the wheel."

Ben ignored his sarcasm and said, "Now, if you find yourself in trouble, I want you to call me on my burner phone immediately. Do you understand? This mission is important, but not as important as your safety."

"Unless you were bitten by a radioactive spider in the last week, I don't know how much use you're going to be in a fight."

"Promise me," Ben pressed.

Balthazar sighed. "Alright. Fine. Can I go now?"

Ben surprised them both by flinging his arms around Balthazar's shoulders and pulling him into a hug. "Thanks for doing this," he muttered. 

"Yeah, sure." Balthazar leaned away, very conscious of the glances that were being shot their way. Perfect. Now half the student body would probably think that Ben was his boyfriend. So much for keeping a low profile. 

"Hey, if I was gay, and you weren't still hung up on Pedro, do you think you and I...?"

"No."

"Yeah, but I mean, what if-"

" _No_."

Ben pouted. "Alright. Okay. I get it."

Balthazar couldn't resist a rueful smile. He still wasn't sure why he had agreed to do this. It wasn't like him to uproot his entire life for some guy. Maybe it was more about facing his demons, or maybe he just felt sorry for Benedick who, whether he was telling the truth or not, was clearly not quite right in the head. 

Messina High was just how Balthazar remembered it. Most of the same people were still there, although not many of them recognised him. The guys who had tormented him back in year nine had been expelled after his hand got broken, so he didn't have to worry about them. Plus, attitudes towards other sexualities had become far more tolerant recently, what with the New Zealand government legalising gay marriage. Still, he wasn't really counting on making too many friends. 

His first class was music. While his busted hand meant that he couldn't play instruments that required some of the more complicated finger trickery, he could still bash out a decent effort on the drums. And he still enjoyed writing and composing songs, even if he didn't have the confidence anymore to perform them. 

After class, Balthazar lingered to talk to the teacher about hiring out one of the soundproof music booths at lunch. In truth, he just wanted to avoid the between-class crowds. He had been hoping to leave the classroom to find an empty hallway, but as he pushed aside the swing-door he heard raised voices echoing off the walls. And they were getting closer.

“I’m telling you—flamingoes are ridiculous!”

“And _I’m_ telling _you_ , I agree with you.”

“…those brittle, spindly legs—what exactly are they capable of supporting? And the colour. Oh, lord, the _colour_ …”

“I’m not arguing with you on this.”

Balthazar stood frozen in place as the two people he had transferred there to meet rounded the corner towards him. It was one of those crazy, coincidental moments, where suddenly all the stars align and everything goes exactly according to plan. Pedro Donaldson and Beatrice Duke stopped in their tracks to stare at him. He stared right back. What was he supposed to say to the two people he had all but been hired to stalk?

“Oh, I’m sorry, bro,” Pedro said, “were we being too loud?”

Beatrice snorted. It was strange how even after all of these years, Balthazar could still remember the two of them so vividly. Even Beatrice's look of derision was comfortingly familiar. 

“Um, I, uh, I’m a bit lost, actually,” he stuttered, still a bit in shock.

Beatrice’s expression grew a little more sympathetic, but only for a moment. “What do _you_ think of flamingoes?” she demanded.

Balthazar blinked. “They’re alright.”

Apparently that was the wrong answer, because Beatrice shook her head at the both of them and barged her way into the nearest classroom.

“Sorry about that,” Pedro said, pushing his fingers through his hair. “Sometimes I think she actually _wants_ me to disagree with her.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Pedro continued to stare at the door that Beatrice had just kicked her way through. Which Balthazar didn’t really mind, because it gave him more time to stare at Pedro. There was something different about him. He just couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was.

“Sorry!” Pedro shook his head, turning suddenly back to Balthazar. “You said you were lost? Do you need any help finding your next classroom?”

“Yeah, that would be sweet.” Balthazar handed Pedro his timetable. He hadn’t really been lying when he said that he was lost. A lot had changed at Messina since he left in year nine.

Pedro frowned down at the crumpled paper, smoothing his finger over the personal details section. “Balthazar…”

Balthazar silently thanked his parents for insisting the school put his nickname onto all of their official servers. This could have been an even more humiliating moment if they hadn’t.

“Yeah?” he said, shifting his feet a little bit. It was a reflex; a readiness to run.

Pedro glanced up and caught his eye. “Do I know you from somewhere? You look kind of familiar.”

There was no reason to lie. He was bound to get recognized eventually. “I used to go here—to Messina—in year nine. But then I transferred out.”

“Why did you come back?” Pedro asked, and Balthazar got the strangest feeling that Pedro knew exactly who he was and why he had left Messina in the first place. But that was crazy. There was no way that he could have made such impression on Pedro Donaldson that he would still remember him 4 years later.

Balthazar shrugged. “A friend suggested that I should finish my high school career the same way I started it.”

“Your… _boy_ friend?”

Ah, so Pedro _did_ recognize him.

“No,” Balthazar almost laughed, remembering his earlier conversation with Ben. “Just a friend.”

Pedro nodded slowly, folding Balthazar’s timetable back up and handing it back to him. “Come on. I’ll show you to the English department.”

 

With Balthazar inside the Lion’s Den, Ben wasn’t really sure what to do with his time. He lurked around outside Messina for a while, but then people started to look at him strangely and he worried that someone might call a truancy officer to find out why he wasn’t in school.

He ended up sitting in a coffee shop near Western Springs, making a detailed list of all he still had yet to accomplish. Chances were, if Bea, Pedro, Hero and Balthazar’s lives were all messed up, then everyone else’s would be too. He needed to remember to ask Balthy to check up on Meg, Claudio, Ursula, John...the list was a lot longer than he would have liked. It was going to take some time to fix everything that his absence from their lives had caused.

It was actually kind of flattering to know that a world in which he didn’t exist was not better off, but infinitely worse. Although it did mean that in this dimension, all of his friends were miserable, if not broken beyond repair. The look in Balthy’s eyes when he mentioned playing the guitar…

Ben clutched his pencil in his fist, so tight that it nearly snapped.

“Can I get you another cup of tea?”

“Yes. That would be…” Ben glanced up and froze. “ _Cora?_ ”

The girl turned back at the sound of her name. She was a lot skinnier, her eyes were drowning in black eye make-up, but it was definitely her.

“Why aren’t you in school?” Ben demanded.

Cora gave him her trademark _what-the-hell-are-you-looking-at_ glare. “Do I know you?”

“Um, well, I used to go to Messina High…”

It was like a switch had been flipped. At the mention of Messina, she went from being just regular pissed-off, to murderously psychotic.

“Don’t you _ever_ mention that fucking place to be again,” Cora said in a dangerously low voice. Ben was sure she would have screamed in his face if her manager hadn’t been watching them like a hawk from behind the counter. 

“I-I’m sorry!” Ben stammered, not sure what else he could say.

Cora snatched his empty cup and saucer off the table and pointed to the door. “Thank you for your custom,” she sneered, “ _sir_.”

Ben took the hint. He was pretty sure he would never be welcome back at that particular establishment ever again. Sitting on a park bench beside Western Springs lake, he added ‘Cora Petunia Anderson’ to his list of people that needed saving.


	4. Meg and Ursula

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benedick runs into AU-Beatrice, and Meg and Ursula pop in to say hi.

“Status report.”

“Really?”

“Don’t ruin this for me! Waking up in an alternate dimension is a dream come true for me. You know, aside from the whole _I-don’t-exist_ thing…”

“And the fact that your girlfriend is now dating my boyfriend.”

“And the fact that the sweetest, purest human being on the planet is now apparently a drug addict. And that the second sweetest, purest human being is now physically unable to pursue his musical career…”

“But apart from all _that_ …”

Ben laughed. They were sitting on the sidelines of the Messina High football pitch, directly opposite where Ben had woken up on that fateful day, just over a week ago. Pedro and the team were practicing, but apart from Ben, there was one other person conspicuously absent.

“Where’s Leo?” he wondered aloud.

Balthazar glanced up. “Leo, who?”

“Duke. Hero’s older brother.”

Balthazar shrugged. “Must have been before my time.”

“He’s the Messina first-eleven football coach,” Ben explained, eyeing the elderly P.E. teacher who was wearing the sacred whistle in Leo’s stead. The old guy could barely see two feet in front of him, let alone where the ball was going. “Or, he _was_ …”

“Do you want me to find out for you?” Balthazar asked.

Ben opened his mouth, but then it slid slowly into a smile. Balthazar eyed him warily.

“I have a better idea,” Ben said slyly.

“You know, I’m starting to see that smile of yours in my nightmares.”

Ben laughed, and then his expression grew thoughtful. “You know, there is one good thing that came out of me not existing.”

“What’s that?”

“You certainly do talk a lot more in this dimension than in mine.”

Balthazar raised his eyebrows. “It’s probably all of the time I spend correcting people’s ignorance.”

Ben grinned. “Still got that same sass, though.”

Balthazar looked a little embarrassed, but he laughed. “Come on,” he said, after a while, “what’s this master plan of yours?”

Ben glanced across the field. “Well, without me, you know, _existing_ , the team is down a quality player. You should try out.”

“Me? Play soccer? You’ve got to be joking.”

“Why not? I’ve seen you play. You’re amazing!”

Balthazar looked doubtful. “I try, but…”

“Look, the only reason you never took football seriously was because you had music to occupy all of your time. But all I ever see you do these days is stare forlornly at your dusty guitar and write songs for Pedro that he’s never going to hear. Why don’t you just give it a chance?”

Balthazar pulled out a chunk of grass and rubbed it nervously between his fingers.

“It’ll give you an excuse to get closer to Pedro,” Ben wheedled.

“The ‘Pedro’ card is starting to wear pretty thin,” Balthazar sighed.

Ben smirked. “Is it? Is it, _really_?”

Balthazar glanced down at his hands. “No. I’ll do it.”

Ben cheered and punched the air, causing the football guys to all turn and stare at them. Pedro caught Balthazar’s eye and gave a tentative wave.

“See? Our plan’s working already,” Ben said triumphantly.

“He’s just being polite,” Balthazar said, waving back.

Ben smirked again. “Or maybe he just thinks that your hand would fit in his. Because, you know what? I bet it would.”

“I’m really starting not to like other-world Balthazar.”

“Why? That song was a big hit on YouTube.”

Balthazar paled. “I—I mean _he_ —posted it to YouTube?”

“Yep. And that was well before you and Pedro started dating.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I swear on Queen Liz and English Breakfast tea, that I am telling you the truth.”

Balthazar’s eyes flashed over to Pedro thoughtfully. “And did he…did he like it?”

“Well… _yes_.”

Luckily Balthy was too wrapped up in his own head to catch the hesitation in Ben’s tone. But he didn’t need to know that, for quite a long time, Pedro had considered ‘Ode to Pedro’ to be just a big joke between them.

Ben cleared his throat. “We’ve kind of veered off-course a bit here. _Do_ you have anything to report?”

“Oh, um, yeah…” Balthazar pulled his notebook of lyrics out of his bag and flipped through it to the last page. “So, um, Beatrice. I assume you want to hear about her first?”

“Are flamingoes the most majestic creatures ever?”

Balthazar raised one eyebrow.

“Yes, yes they are.”

“Okay, well, I ran into her and Pedro in the hallway earlier. She seemed kind of pissed off, if you ask me. Like she was clearly annoyed about something, and was taking it out on Pedro. It was like she was _trying_ to start an argument with him.”

“Oh my god.” Ben’s eyes widened.

“What?” Balthazar glanced around, searching for whatever had put that stunned look on Ben’s face.

“It never occurred to me…but it actually does make some sort of sense…”

“ _What?_ ”

“Without me there for her to fight and argue with, Beatrice hasn’t had anyone to take her frustrations out on. It must have all just been bottling up inside of her for _years_. I mean, Pedro is such a people-pleaser, he would never dare to contradict her.”

“Wait, so you’re saying that she _likes_ to have arguments?”

“Well, she calls it _debating_ …”

Balthazar quirked a smile. “You two really would be perfect together.”

Ben grinned. “For me, that’s a compliment. She would probably take it as an insult.”

Balthazar’s smile dimmed. “You know, it’s stuff like that which makes me doubt whether Pedro and I could ever work out.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“I believe that in _your_ world we might have had a shot. Because in your world Pedro has come to terms with who he is, I have a purpose in life—something to offer him—and Beatrice isn’t in the picture, because she was always too distracted with you.”

Ben tried to keep the pity out of his eyes, but it was difficult. A sad Balthazar was like a kicked puppy. “Look. I’m a scientific professional. I value reason and logic. But suddenly waking up in an alternate dimension with no knowledge of how I got there…that doesn’t make any sense. So if something as crazy as this can happen, who’s to say you and Pedro won’t work out as well?”

“If crazy is your criteria,” Balthazar muttered, “I definitely think we’ve hit it.” He nodded towards the two girls who were walking along the sidelines towards them.

Ben glanced up, and his jaw quite literally dropped. First, because one of the girls was Beatrice, and he hadn’t seen her in over a week. And second, because of the girl who was walking beside her.

“What’re you staring at?” Beatrice barked at him, putting her arm protectively across Meg’s shoulders as they drew level.

“M-Meg,” Ben spluttered, gaping at her, “w-what happened?”

“Who’s he?” Meg asked, a flirty smile gracing her lips. “He’s cute.”

Beatrice rolled her eyes. “Don’t you think it’s a bit inappropriate to be flirting with a guy while you’re…?” She glanced meaningfully down at Meg’s belly.

Meg waved her hand dismissively. “What’s the worst that can happen? I’m already pregnant. It’s not like he can knock me up a second time.”

Ben’s mouth opened and closed like a fish on dry land. Balthazar leaned across and pushed it shut.

“I apologize for my friend here,” he said, rolling his eyes at Ben, “I imagine he’s just had quite a shock.”

Beatrice gave Ben a cursory once-over. It didn’t seem like she remembered him from the incident on this same field a week earlier. Her gaze was instantly caught by the flamingo monogrammed shirt he was wearing (he had bought some clothes with Balthazar’s money as soon as possible).

“What the hell is that?” she demanded.

Ben glanced down at his shirt. “It’s a t-shirt. People traditionally wear them to cover up the upper halves of their bodies.”

“I meant the picture on it, dumb-ass.”

“Oh! It’s a flamingo. Don’t you find them to be majestic creatures?”

A light suddenly sparked in Beatrice’s eyes. Ben saw it. Balthazar saw it. Even Meg, preoccupied with balancing a water bottle on her obscenely pregnant belly, saw it.

“Let the games begin,” Ben breathed. Balthazar ducked his head to hide his grin.

 

There was only so long Balthazar could sit there and listen to two equally obstinate people argue about something as ridiculous as flamingoes. Or mangos. Or whatever the hell is was there were fighting about now. He left Meg to play mediator, and crossed to the other side of the pitch, under the shade of some trees. He lay down and rested his head back on his hands, closing his eyes to enjoy the weather.

“E-Excuse me?”

“Yeah?”

“E-Excuse me? Y-You’re in m-my spot.”

Balthazar sat up and opened his eyes. A slim pretty Asian girl stood hunched before him, her arms wrapped around herself, her glasses dwarfing her face. Her hair hung down over either cheek, so he couldn’t make out many of her features. She looked absolutely terrified, but was holding her ground.

“I’m sorry,” Balthazar said, hopping up. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”

The girl reclaimed her spot, not able to look him in the eye. “S’okay.”

“I’m Balthazar, by the way.”

“That’s n-nice.”

Balthazar felt himself smile. “You’re Ursula.”

The girl glanced up in shock. “H-How do you…?”

“We have media studies together. You don’t recognize me?”

Ursula shook her head wordlessly. The longer their conversation went on, the more freaked-out she looked.

“I’ll leave you alone,” Balthazar said, backing away. “It was nice to officially meet you, Ursula.”


	5. Hero Duke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's plan starts to unfold, and he has a heart-to-heart with Hero.

Ben put down his pen and examined the crumpled sheet of paper in front of him. He was making a list of all of the people in this world that needed his help, what their main issues were, and what he was planning to do to help them.

 

BEATRICE DUKE

**Problem** : Dating Pedro. Much angrier than I remember.

**Solution** : ME.

 

BALTHAZAR JONES

**Problem** : No Pedro. No music. No friends.

**Solution** : Pedro. Also, must convince him to try again with physical therapy for his hand.

 

PEDRO DONALDSON

**Problem** : Still in the closet. Says ‘sorry’ a lot…latent guilt over Hero?

**Solution** : Balthazar.

 

HERO DUKE

**Problem** : Total recluse. Everyone thinks she’s an adulterer. Possible drug addict (?)

**Solution** : Clear her name.

 

MEG

**Problem** : Pregnant?!?!?!???!?

**Solution** : TBD

 

URSULA

**Problem** : Social anxiety disorder. Stutter.

**Solution** : Get her into film-making. Boost her confidence.

 

CLAUDIO

????

 

JOHN

????

 

CORA

**Problem** : Expelled for starting a fight.

**Solution** : anger management classes (?) Find John Donaldson.

 

LEO

????

 

ROBBIE

**Problem** : Father of Meg’s baby. Apparently sleeping around with other women behind her back.

**Solution** : a swift kick up the—

 

“Ben!” Balthazar jogged across the court to meet him. “What are you doing here? You know you can’t be here during school hours. If somebody sees you…”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, Balthazar,” Ben said, giving his list a kiss, “I’m almost done here.”

Balthazar frowned. “What is _that?_ ”

“This,” Ben said, folding the paper up and slipping it into the pocket of his shorts, “is my cheat-sheet.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“Don’t trouble your pretty little head about it.”

Balthazar frowned. “That’s the second time you’ve mentioned my ‘pretty little head’.”

“Is it?”

“Well, yeah, _yes_ ,” somebody answered, but it wasn’t Balthazar.

Balthy whipped around so quickly he almost tripped over his own feet. Pedro glanced between the two of them curiously.

“Hey, Pedro,” Ben said casually.

Pedro’s eyes widened. “Wait a minute…you’re that guy from the football pitch!”

“He did go to your practice game last week,” Balthazar interjected quickly.

“No, no! You remember that crazy guy I was telling you about? The one that threatened my girlfriend?—“

“She has a _name_ ,” Ben said quietly.

“—the one that threatened _Beatrice_ , then, whatever. Yeah, _this is him!”_ Pedro pointed at Ben accusingly.

Balthazar sighed. This was exactly why he had asked Ben to stay the hell away from campus. “This is my—“ he began to say ‘cousin’, but Ben leapt in ahead of him.

“I’m his boyfriend.” Ben held out his hand for Pedro to shake. “Ben. Nice to meet you.”

Pedro’s expression changed slightly. “Boyfriend?” His eyes cut to Balthazar. “I thought you said you didn’t have a boyfriend?”

“He only very recently agreed to let me in,” Ben explained, clapping Balthazar on the back. “It took a lot of pushing, but I got there in the end.”

Balthazar groaned and buried his face in his hands.

Pedro cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Well, I’ll just give you guys some privacy. See you in class, Balth.”

Balthazar waited until he was out of earshot before rounding on Ben. “What the hell was that?”

Ben grinned. “Pretty clever, huh?”

“No! _Not_ clever! Now he thinks I’m unavailable! Which I’m not. I’m _completely_ available.”

“Calm down, my young padawan. It’s all part of the master plan.”

“So you actually have one of those now? That’s comforting.”

Ben laughed. “Why are you getting so worked up about this? It’s good to make him a little jealous.”

“You do realize that everything you said to him was just one giant innuendo?”

“No it _wasn’t_. It…oh, dear.”

 

 

“Phase One of Operation Flaming Mango is about to begin…”

“It worries me that you’ve been here for weeks now, and we’re still only on Phase One of the plan.”

“It’s a long Phase One. Now shut up and help me scale this tree.”

Balthazar reluctantly braced himself against the tree and hoisted Ben up, so that he could grab onto a low-hanging branch. Ben’s legs kicked uselessly in mid-air for a few seconds, before he was finally able to drag himself into the tree.

“What exactly are we doing right now?” Balthazar hissed, glancing around to make sure that no one had spotted them.

Ben’s head appeared through the foliage, looking down at him. “You agreed to help me without knowing exactly what it is that we’re doing? That seems like poor decision-making on your part.”

“You should, uh, be glad that I act before I think, or you wouldn’t have a place to live right now.”

Ben’s laughter mingled with the rustling of the leaves. A few stray twigs fell down and landed in Balthazar’s hair. He brushed them away impatiently.

“What do I say if someone finds me lurking here?” he hissed.

Ben’s voice was getting softer and softer as he climbed higher and higher. “Say you’re from the Auckland Association of Trees. I don’t know!”

“I’m just going to tell them that you paid me to stand here. Shifting the blame solely onto you seems like my best _decision_.”

Ben laughed again, and then Balthazar heard the sound of a window being forced open. He craned his neck for a better look, just as Ben sprang from the tree and into Hero Duke’s bedroom. There was a loud crash, a muffled scream, and then silence.

Balthazar watched the window anxiously, his hands thrust in his pockets.

“Balthazar?”

Balthazar closed his eyes briefly. Of all the people to come across him lurking in the Dukes’ back garden.

“Oh, hey, Pedro.” He gave a little wave.

Pedro glanced around. “What are you doing here?”

“That’s a very good question.”

“Are you going to answer it?”

Balthazar scratched his head sheepishly. “I would like to…”

Suddenly Ben’s head stuck out of Hero’s open window. “Oh, there you are, Balthy!” he cried. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

Balthazar rolled his eyes.

Pedro glanced between the two of them, his brow furrowing. “What’s your boyfriend doing in Hero’s bedroom?”

“He told you they were friends.”

“He told me they met at orientation. But that was also after I had found him lying in damp pajamas in the middle of the school football field.” Pedro suddenly seemed to remember who he was talking to, “Sorry. I know he’s your boyfriend.”

“We’re not that close,” Balthazar muttered.

“It’s purely physical,” Ben interjected from the window.

Balthazar shot him a filthy look and Ben quickly ducked back inside.

Pedro looked like he couldn’t decide what to make of either of them. “Do you want to come inside?” he asked.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Beatrice went with Meg to her doctor’s appointment. They won’t be back for an hour.” Pedro was about to lead Balthazar inside, when he abruptly half-turned back towards him. "You've got something..." He reached over and plucked a twig from Balthazar's hair. "Got it."

Balthazar stared at him. 

"Come on," Pedro grunted, and he spun on his heel towards the house. 

 

 

“Now that you’ve covered your friend’s ass,” said Hero, folding her arms across her chest, “are you going to tell me what you’re doing here?”

Things were as bad as Ben feared, if the fact that Hero Duke had just casually used the word ‘ass’ was any indication. She hadn’t batted an eyelid as he scaled the tree outside her bedroom and launched himself in through the window. She had just sat up in bed to watch him.

The scary thing was, Hero didn’t seem like herself at all. Beatrice and Pedro, despite dating the wrong people, were still themselves. Beatrice still liked to argue. She was still smart and sassy and righteous. But this girl sitting before him now…he didn’t recognize her at all.

“What happened to you?” Ben asked, shaking his head incredulously.

Hero ran her hand through her shaved-short hair a little self-consciously. “Do we know each other from…from before?”

“You could say that.” Something suddenly occurred to him, and he sat up straight in her desk chair. “You’re not a drug addict, are you?”

Hero barked out a laugh. “I’m fucked up, but I’m not _that_ fucked up.”

Ben winced at every curse word. “Do you have to talk like that?” he asked.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Like everyone else.”

Hero snorted. “I suppose you’d rather I said ‘gosh’ and ‘darn’.”

“Yes, actually.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sick of people telling me what I should and shouldn’t be doing. It’s not anyone’s business but my own.”

Ben looked at her pityingly. “I know you didn’t cheat on Claudio.”

At the mention of her ex-boyfriend’s name, Hero suddenly stiffened. She had almost exactly the same reaction to his name that Cora had had to Messina High.

“And I can prove it, too,” Ben said quickly, before she threw him out of her bedroom.

“How?”

“I know who set you up. I think I can get him to confess.”

Hero looked hopeful for a second, but then she sank back against her pillows. “It won’t change anything. Not now. Everyone’s already made up their minds about me.”

“What happened to you?” Ben repeated.

“Claudio—”

“What Claudio did was bad, but I thought that you were stronger than this. I thought that you would fight back.”

Hero bristled. “If you climbed in through my window just to lecture me, then you can go out the same way you came in.”

Ben glanced nervously at the window. “I’m sorry. But don’t you think the pity party has gone on for long enough? We can get over this, and we _can_ move on from it.”

“I think I’d like—”

Hero’s words were cut off as the door banged inwards. Beatrice stood in the threshold, her chest heaving with rage. She caught sight of Ben and her hands balled into fists.

“WHAT THE FUCK?”


	6. Claudio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice gives everyone a telling off, Claudio makes an unwanted appearance, and Ben and Balthy get down to business.

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“Let’s start at the very beginning,” Ben suggested.

“A very good place to start,” Balthazar agreed.

Beatrice scowled. “Do I look like I’m in the mood for _The Sound of Music_ jokes?”

“I have confidence—”

“Don’t you dare!”

Pedro hung his head, properly chastised. Balthazar and Ben exchanged smirks, which luckily went unseen.

Beatrice started to pace up and down the dining room, pausing occasionally to shoot them all filthy looks. Hero was wrapped up in blankets on the living room couch, watching the scene unfold over a steaming mug of black coffee.

“Does somebody want to explain what the hell is going on here?” Beatrice finally demanded, rounding on Pedro.

“Well, um, I mean…”

“Very informative,” Beatrice said, rolling her eyes. “Anyone else?”

Balthazar stared determinedly at his hands.

“What about you?” Beatrice stood in front of Ben, her hands on her hips, her eyebrows pulled together.

Ben raised his eyes slowly to meet hers. Balthy and Pedro braced themselves for the fallout.

“I’m here to see Hero,” he said slowly and deliberately, “and Balthazar’s here to visit Pedro. What’s so confusing about that?”

Beatrice’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t have to patronize me every time you talk.”

Ben grinned. “I get told that a lot.”

Beatrice shook her head at him and turned to Pedro. “And what do you have to say for yourself?”

“Before you bite my head off, can I just ask…what exactly have I done wrong?”

“Let’s make a list, shall we?” Beatrice said, in the exact tone that she had just snapped at Ben for using. “You let two strangers into my home, one of whom is mentally unstable, and then you leave the mentally unstable guy alone with my poor cousin while you play video games with your boyfriend…”

“Actually, _he’s_ my boyfriend,” Balthazar said, pointing to Ben.

A look of panic flitted across Ben’s face. “We’re not that close, though,” he rushed to assure her.

“Not such a great plan after all, was it?” Balthazar said snidely. Ben did not look impressed.

“Can someone get this crazy, sleep-walking _dick_ out of my house?”

“So you do remember me!” Ben cried, pointing at her. “I was starting to wonder…”

“What—I don’t…that doesn’t…” Beatrice blew out a breath in frustration.

“I must have made quite an impression,” Ben said slyly.

Beatrice looked thrown. “What?”

“It’s just nice to know that you remember me. We met nearly a month ago, and we’ve barely seen each other since then. Was our first meeting really so memorable?”

“You were passed out in your pajamas on the school soccer pitch!”

“And looking hot doing it!” Ben smirked. “Is that what does it for you? Pajamas and sleep disorders?”

Beatrice was abruptly flustered. She glanced around for support, but Balthazar was wisely keeping his mouth shut, and both Hero and Pedro were fascinated to see this side of her. Nobody had ever rendered Beatrice speechless before. Pedro had a sudden compulsion to shake Ben’s hand and thank him.

“Whatever!” Beatrice threw her hands up in the air. “Just get out!” She glared at Pedro. “That means you, too!”

“I’ll see you later, Ben!” Hero called, as the door was slammed shut between them.

“I think that went rather well,” Ben mused, as they turned towards the street.

Pedro shook his head and laughed. “I’ve never seen anyone push her buttons like that.”

“It’s a talent,” Ben said, obviously quite proud of himself, “it’s taken years of practice to achieve such a high level of annoyance.”

Balthazar chuckled. “I really hope you know what you’re doing.”

“So do I,” Ben sighed, glancing back up at the Duke house.

“Come on. You guys can come back to my house. Claudio’s meeting me there later for pizza and video games. Do you guys know Claudio?”

 

“Sorry I’m late,” Claudio said, barging into Pedro’s bedroom with a scantily-dressed girl on his arm. “Couldn’t get this one to let me go.”

The girl giggled sycophantically. Ben didn’t recognize her, which was in some ways a relief. He would be horrified if any of his friends were caught displaying such a total lack of self-respect, even in an alternate reality.

The worst part was that Claudio’s clothes were rumpled, like they had only just finished…whatever it was they were doing. Ben tried to look anywhere but at the girl’s smudged lipstick. How could Claudio degrade someone like that?

Balthazar looked equally uncomfortable. This Claudio reminded him of the jerks who used to beat up him between classes.

“Who are these guys?” Claudio asked, glancing between Ben and Balthy curiously. His speech was slurred.

“Are you drunk?” Ben asked incredulously. 

Pedro’s eyes flickered to Balthazar. “Uh, Claud, this is Balthazar, and his boyfriend, Ben.”

Claudio squinted at the word ‘boyfriend’. “You guys queer or something?” The girl on his arm giggled again, giving Balthazar a particularly lascivious look.

Pedro jerked forwards, almost like he was moving to protect Balthy from the girl’s slimy stare, but then he thought better of it and crossed his arms.

“He’s gay,” Ben said stonily. “What of it?”

Claudio shrugged. “Which one of you takes it up the—”

“Get the fuck out,” Pedro said in a low voice. He glanced at Balthazar, who was glaring determinedly at the far wall. “I’m so sorry about this. He’s drunk. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.”

“That’s no excuse!” Ben said, outraged.

“Come on, baby,” Claudio said, dragging the girl out into the hallway with him. “Let’s leave these queers to their threesome, or whatever.”

Pedro grimaced as the front door slammed. There was a minute of cold silence.

“I’m really sorry about that,” he said softly, looking at Balthazar.

“What a wanker!” Ben shook his head in disgust. He pulled the list out of his pocket and scribbled something down in a fury, next to Claudio’s name.

Pedro was watching Balthazar as if he thought the other boy might explode. But Balthazar was used to jerks like Claudio. He was more worried about how Ben was going to rehabilitate someone like him. People like Ursula and Hero, who were victims of circumstance, could he helped. But Claudio? There was no cure for being an asshole. At least not one that Balthazar knew of.

“Excuse me,” Ben said, shooting abruptly to his feet. “I need to make a phone call.” He swept unceremoniously from the room. Balthazar rolled his eyes. Could he be any less subtle?

Pedro ran his fingers through his hair, watching Balthazar out of the corner of his eye. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve been dealing with dicks like that all my life,” Balthazar said with a shrug. It wasn’t really an answer, and they both knew it.

“It must be tough…” Pedro said.

“What?”

“Being…you know…”

“Gay?”

“Yeah,” Pedro cleared his throat, “ _that_.”

Balthazar looked down at his hands. “Being gay isn’t the problem. I like being gay. It makes me happy to be myself. It’s everyone else who has the problem with _me_.”

“I don’t,” Pedro said in a small voice.

Balthazar smiled ruefully. “But can you say the same?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, are you happy being yourself?”

Pedro shifted uncomfortably. He was about to answer when Ben burst back into the room. “So what are we talking about?” he asked, glancing between them.

Balthazar almost laughed. Ben really did have impeccable timing.

“Nothing,” Pedro said quickly, avoiding Balthy’s eye. “Video games anyone?”

 

“Can I ask you a question?”

“I think you just did,” Ben said, smiling, “but, no, yeah, go ahead.”

Balthazar fiddled with the zip of his hoodie. “It’s really nice of you to go out of your way to help all of us. I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong. But is all of this really necessary? Are you sure that fixing everyone else’s crappy lives will actually help you get back to your own?”

They were sitting in Balthazar’s bedroom. Balthazar was on the floor, pouring over some sheet music, and Ben was sprawled across his bed, strumming aimlessly on the ukulele. Not existing gave him a lot of free time.

“I have no idea,” Ben admitted. “This just seemed like the right thing to do.”

Balthazar nodded slowly. “Have you given any thought to how or why you came to be here?”

“Well, here’s what I _do_ know. My timeline is about a year ahead of this one. I was already halfway through my first year of University when I…ended up here. As for how or why, I don’t really know. It’s all still kind of a blur.”

“What _do_ you remember?”

Ben screwed his face up in concentration. “I remember I was fighting with Beatrice. Nothing out of the ordinary there. I think you offered to take me out for a drink. You and Pedro were having some problems, too, and you wanted to let off some steam.”

“I can’t imagine ever fighting with Pedro,” Balthazar said, with an uncharacteristiccally dreamy sigh.

Ben snorted. “In my world, the hero-worship ended around the same time as Hero’s sixteenth birthday.”

“I’m sure it did. What happened next?”

“No idea,” Ben said, sitting up. “We hit up a local British-style pub—your treat to me—and then…nothing. I woke up here. Or, more specifically, the Messina High football pitch.”

Balthazar gazed at him thoughtfully. “Weird.”

“The weirdest.”


	7. Pedro and Balthazar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balth and Ben bond some more, and Ben works his Pedrazar magic...with a little help from Ursula.

Balthazar marched into his own bedroom, grabbed a couple of cymbals off the drum stand in the corner, and clashed them together over Ben’s comatose form. The effect was instantaneous.

Ben screamed, flailed, and fell to the floor. “What the hell, Balthy?”

“Enough sleeping. We don’t have time for sleeping.”

“But it’s a Sunday! There’s not going to be anyone around on a Sunday for us to help.”

“This isn’t for the mission,” Balthazar said impatiently. “But we do have somewhere to be.”

Ben groaned. “Where?”

“There’s a local band that I like playing a set down at Auckland Zoo today.”

“Why do I have to go?”

“Because you’re my only friend. Who else is going to go with me?”

Ben opened his eyes and stared up at Balthazar. It had taken the other boy a lot of courage to admit that, even to himself. He looked so flustered and embarrassed that Ben got up and got dressed without any further complaint.

“Why didn’t you ask Pedro?” Ben asked, as they hit the footpath. It was more economically viable for them to walk it. “You two seem to be getting along well these days. I’m sure he would have come if you’d called.”

“I didn’t want him to think that I was asking him out,” Balthazar said, keeping his eyes firmly on the ground.

“Really?” Ben looked skeptical. “I would have thought that would be exactly what you want. In fact, isn’t that kind of our entire plan here?”

“Not while he’s still with Beatrice! I want to be his boyfriend, not his mistress.”

Ben smirked. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a little bit? Even Bea called you Pedro’s boyfriend. To his face. In front of _witnesses_.”

Balthazar shook his head firmly. “I’m not a predatory gay. I’m not going to force Pedro into something he’s not ready for.”

“He seemed pretty ready for it last week, when he was picking leaves out of your hair. Or the other day, when I’m pretty sure he was about to come out to you in his bedroom.”

“How did you…?”

Ben waved his hand dismissively. “I may or may not have been eavesdropping at the door.”

“You were eavesdropping and still thought that that was the best moment to interrupt?”

Ben glanced away sheepishly. “Oh, look! We’re here! That’s fun.”

Balthazar rolled his eyes.

They bought their tickets to the zoo and went inside. While Balthazar jogged ahead to check out the concert venue, Ben lagged behind to make a phone call.

“Pedro Donaldson.”

Ben smirked. “Hey, Pedro. It’s Ben…Benedick? You know, the crazy guy.” He sighed exasperatedly. “Balthazar’s boyfriend!”

“Oh, hi! How did you get my number?”

“Not important,” Ben said quickly. “What are you doing today?”

“Me? Nothing. I’m still in the doghouse with Beatrice, so…”

“ _Perfect_. You can come meet me and Balthazar.”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. “Are you asking me to come and crash your date?”

“Date? Oh, no, me and Balthy broke up.”

“But you just said—”

“Forget what I just said!” Ben cried. “That was _so_ two minutes ago. Are you in or what?”

“I mean, I _guess_ so….”

“Excellent!” Ben grinned. “You can meet Balth at the outdoor concert venue at Auckland Zoo.”

“Wait, I thought you just said—”

“Oh no! Something just came up! I have to leave. What a shame. You and Balthy have a nice time, though!” And he hung up before Pedro could protest.

“Who was that?” Balthazar asked, coming up behind him.

“That? That was Hero. She needs me to head over right away. Apparently it’s an emergency.”

Balthazar glanced longingly over his shoulder. “I guess I can come with you…”

“No! I wouldn’t dream of it! You stay here and enjoy the gig,” Ben insisted.

Balthazar frowned. “By myself?”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ve got you covered.”

Balthazar’s eyebrows jumped up his forehead. “You’re smiling again. Bad things tend to happen when you smile.”

Ben patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. “You worry too much. Have a swell time at the concert!” And then he slipped away through the crowd before Balthazar had a chance to interrogate him.

As he moved back towards the concert venue, his phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a message from Ben:

 

**Pedro will b there in 10 mins. Have fun!**

**p.s. I think we should c other people ;)**

 

Balthazar sighed down at his phone. “Really, _I’m_ the idiot for not seeing this coming.”

Despite how annoyed he was with Ben for springing this on him, he was more nervous to see whether Pedro would actually show up. He seriously doubted Ben’s organizational skills. He didn’t mind seeing the concert alone, it just would have been nice to have a friend there to share it with for once.

“Balth?”

Balthazar heard Pedro’s voice over his shoulder and took a deep breath. It was now or never.

 

 

“W-Why did you c-call me h-here?”

Ben grinned, straightening up from behind the cluster of bushes he had been skulking around. “Ursula! You made it! Did you bring what I asked for?”

Ursula eyed him suspiciously, but dug her camera out of her bag and handed it over for his inspection.

“Perfect.” Ben checked that the battery was fully charged and then passed it back to her. “I assume you know how to use this?”

“I-I…”

“Perfect,” Ben said again. “Turn it on and aim it over that way.” He pointed across the crowd commandingly.

Ursula reluctantly did as he’d asked. Her brow furrowed as she zoomed in on the couple he was pointing at. “Is that P-Pedro D-Donaldson?”

“And Balthazar Jones,” Ben affirmed, smiling. “We’re here to document their love story.”

“Isn’t P-Pedro dating B-Beatrice?” Ursula asked. Her hair was covering most of her face, so her voice was muffled. Her cheeks were permanently stained red. Ben couldn’t tell if it was him that was making her uncomfortable, or just being out in public in general.

“Technically, yes,” he said, waving a hand dismissively. “But we all know that won’t last long.”

“They’ve been d-dating for t-two years now…”

“What?!” Ben did a double-take, but recovered quickly. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter. They’re so clearly not right for each other.”

“And P-Pedro and B-Balthazar are?” Ursula said doubtfully. “Are they even g-gay?”

Ben smiled pityingly. “Oh, dear, sweet, misguided Ursula. You’re so clueless, it’s cute.”

Ursula pursed her lips. “C-Can I ask what your m-motives are here? What’s in this for y-you?”

“The pleasure of a job well done.” Ben gestured impatiently. “Can you concentrate, please? You’re missing all of the adorableness.”

Ursula shot him a disapproving look, but refocused the camera towards Pedro and Balthazar as instructed. They two boys were sitting under the stage, laughing at some joke the band’s guitarist had just made while doing his equipment check.

“It’s a pity we can’t hear what they’re saying…” Ben trailed off. He clicked his fingers suddenly, causing Ursula to jump. “We need some help!”

“M-More people?” Ursula looked panicked.

Ben glanced at her thoughtfully. “You wouldn’t happen to have Verges and Dogberry’s phone numbers, would you?”

“Who are V-Verges and D-Dogberry?”

“Never mind. We’ll just have to talk to them at school on Monday.”

“W-We?” Ursula asked nervously. She looked him up and down, as if considering a fight or flight response.

“What I need you to do,” Ben continued, oblivious to her internal panic, “is to keep an eye on these two. Every time they’re together, I want you to film it. Don’t let a single moment of Pedrazar go undocumented. Got it?”

“Pedrazar?” Ursula repeated, her eyebrows rising.

Ben grinned. “That’s my couple name for them. Cute, right?”

“D-Don’t you think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself?”

“What do you mean?” Ben pouted.

“Well, Pedro is dating Beatrice. We don’t know for sure whether Pedro is bi-sexual, or gay, or whatever. And there is no proof that he and Balthazar would make a good couple, even if they did end up getting together. What exactly are you basing their compatibility on, by the way? And why ask me to help you set them up? We don’t even know each other!”

“All very good points,” Ben agreed, nodding. “But I’ll tell you one thing…you just gave that entire speech without stuttering once. I think that’s enough to be getting on with, don’t you?”

Ursula stared at him, stunned.

“Come on,” Ben said, politely ignoring her shock. “Let’s see if we can get closer. Maybe we can read their lips.”


	8. Rosa Jones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balthazar and Pedro go on their first 'date', and Rosa gets real with Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is a bit shorter! Coursework deadlines are fast approaching. The next one will be extra-long to make up for it. Have an amazing day :D And thank you for reading <3

Balthazar couldn’t believe where he was right now. It may not have been the way he wanted it, but for better or worse he was on a date with Pedro Donaldson. And they actually seemed to be getting along.

Ben’s awkward attempts at match-making had not escaped Pedro’s notice. As soon as Balthazar turned around he said, “I don’t know what game your ex-boyfriend is playing, but I hope the invitation to join you here was genuine…?”

Balthazar was secretly pleased at how quickly Pedro had started referring to Ben as his ‘ex’.

“It wasn’t me who invited you,” Balthazar admitted, and Pedro looked abruptly embarrassed. “But I’m glad you’re here,” he added hurriedly.

Pedro smiled ruefully, pushing his fingers through his hair. “Good. That’s…good.”

They stood there in uncomfortable silence for a long minute, before they both tried to break it at the same time.

“Go ahead,” Balthazar said quickly.

“No, you say whatever it was you were going to say,” Pedro shot back, gesturing for him to continue.

Balthazar fiddled with the sleeve of his blazer and laughed nervously. “Do you want to get some food?”

“Why don’t you find us a good spot on the grass, and I’ll get us some food?” Pedro suggested. “What would you like?”

“You,” Balthazar breathed. When Pedro raised his eyebrows and smiled, Balthazar realized that he must have spoken out loud and scrambled to cover himself, “ _you_ …to get me an ice-cream cone!”

“Coming up,” Pedro said, and he looked like he could barely contain his laughter.

Balthazar spun away from him and set off to hunt down a good spot on the grass, right below the stage. He found one, sat down, and buried his face in his hands. He was sure his face must be bright red. And that he would surely die of embarrassment any second now.

“First date?”

Balthazar glanced up at the sound of the unfamiliar voice and his eyes went round. It was the lead guitarist of the band that he had come to see, smiling down at him from the stage while he adjusted his mike stand. He was so stunned all he could say was, “How did you know?”

The guy—Antonio—chuckled. “The sheer look of panic in your eyes.” He glanced up as someone approached across the field. “He’s cute. And I don’t think you have much to worry about.”

Balthazar looked over his shoulder just as Pedro dumped six different ice-creams into his lap. “I wasn’t sure which flavor you’d like,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. The look of worry mixed with embarrassment on his face was adorable.

“You’re going to have to help me eat all of these,” Balthazar said, grinning. He raised his eyes to Antonio, who was watching them in amusement. “Do you want one?”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Antonio reached into the giant pile of ice-creams and grabbed one.

Pedro glanced between the musician onstage and the musician at his feet. “Did I miss something?” He looked down at Balthazar. “Are you friends with the band?”

“He is now,” Antonio said, tipping Balthy a wink.

Balthazar blushed despite himself. It wasn’t every day that cute guitarists flirted with him.

Pedro sat down beside Balthazar, probably a little closer than was necessary. His arm was practically resting on the crook of Balthazar’s leg.

“So I’m guessing you’re the actual fan of the band,” Antonio said, pointing to Balthazar. “And you’re the disgruntled boyfriend who’s been dragged along for the ride.” He gestured to Pedro, who started to squirm.

“Well, actually—” Balthazar started to correct him, but Pedro cut across him.

“Sounds about right,” he said, assuming the role perfectly. “I’ve never even _heard_ of your band. No offense.”

Antonio laughed. “None taken. Your adorable boyfriend here is one of the proud and the few.”

Balthazar blushed afresh. This whole conversation was a minefield, one he wasn’t sure how to navigate safely.

“Well, enjoy the show guys.” Antonio winked at Balthazar, mouthed ‘good luck’, and then jumped off the stage to join his band-mates.

“He seems nice,” Pedro said, after a beat.

Balthazar grinned. “Yeah, I guess.”

 

 

 

Ben paced up and down Balthazar’s bedroom, his eyes constantly flicking towards the clock on the desk. He didn’t like not having a watch. But he had felt kind of bad spending more of Balthazar’s money, especially after he had wasted $100 on flamingo memorabilia to taunt Beatrice with.

Finally he heard the front door open and he dashed into the hallway. “How did it go—oh. It’s just you.”  
Rosa raised her eyebrows at him, her arms full of grocery bags, and said, “Gee, thanks. It’s always nice to know that I’m appreciated around here, especially by the random freeloader that my brother seems to have acquired.”

Ben blinked at her. “Would you like some help?”

Rosa snorted. “You’re an idiot,” she said, “and, yes.”

Ben hurried forwards and juggled some of the groceries into his arms. He followed Rosa into the kitchen. “Hang on a minute,” he said, watching her put the eggs into the fridge, “why aren’t you at University?”

“I am. I go to Auckland Uni.”

“No you don’t. You go to Victoria.”

“I think I would know which University I chose to attend,” Rosa said.

Ben frowned. “Do you…enjoy it?”

“Yeah. It’s great! Why do you ask? Thinking of going there next year? Or are you just going to be lurking around my parents’ house forever.”

Ben mulled over her passive-aggressive words thoughtfully. It was nice to know that not everyone had been negatively impacted by his not existing. Everything was a little bit different, but in Rosa’s case, it hadn’t ruined her life. It was like the radius of an atomic blast. His closest friends were the ones most dramatically impacted by his lack of being. Everyone else—the acquaintances, the Facebook friends—were only slightly affected. Like Rosa choosing Auckland University over Victoria.

Rosa waved her hand in front of his face. “Hello? Earth to Ben!”

He shook his head slightly and refocused on her. “What?”

“Balthazar’s home,” she said, smirking gently.

“What? When?” Ben turned around, almost skidded in his socks on the kitchen floor, and sprinted from the room.

Balthazar was already in his bedroom, sitting at his desk, pouring over some sheet music. Ben glanced over his shoulder; it was _Ode to Pedro_.

“It went well, then, I take it?”

Balthazar didn’t look up, but his cheek twitched as though he was having to restrain himself from smiling. “You should know. Don’t think I didn’t see you lurking around with Ursula. What were you two doing, anyway? Spying on me?”

Ben looked unabashed. “I will neither confirm nor deny those hurtful accusations. But, seriously, how did it go? Did you hold hands? Kiss? Agree to ‘go steady’?”

Balthazar laughed. “No, Ben, he did not ask me to ‘go steady’. We just hung out as mates.”

“Sure. Let’s pretend like I believe that. But did you have a good time?”

Balthazar finally turned to look him in the eye. He was grinning from ear-to-ear. “Yeah. Yeah, I did. The best.”

Ben beamed. “Phase One: Complete!” he cried, holding out his hand for a fist-bump. Balthazar laughingly complied. 


	9. John Donaldson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth comes out about John Donaldson.

When he had first arrived in this alternate version of reality, Ben hadn’t been thinking about the consequences. Questions like ‘what happens if I can’t get back?’ and ‘how are my friends and family coping without me?’ really should have occurred to him sooner.

Ben sat on the sidelines of the Messina High football field—his favourite place to think—pouring over the list he had made, all those weeks ago. Time was moving so quickly now. He had already been gone for two months. In this world, school would be finishing for the year shortly, and all of the people he was trying so desperately to help would scatter. He was running out of time. In the beginning he had been so convinced that fixing everyone else’s problems would somehow magically fix his own. He hadn’t considered what would happen if he failed to help his friends. Or if he _did_ manage to help them, but was still unable to return to his own world. What would happen to him then? More importantly, what would Bea think if he never came back?

Up until then, the whole thing had been like a game. A joke. A bit of fun, that he could laugh about with Beatrice and Pedro later, when he inevitably got back home. Now that future didn’t look so certain.

Balthazar had gone out with Pedro again. At least that was a step in the right direction. They still claimed to be ‘just friends’, but Ben knew Pedro well enough in any dimension to see that his feelings for Balthy were starting to change. Given time, he was sure, the two of them would find each other like they were supposed to. But time was something Ben just didn’t have. Balthazar seemed so happy now, he didn’t want to push things and force the issue, especially if it would scare Pedro off, but Ben was anxious to see results. He hadn’t yet been able to help Hero or Cora. Claudio was still acting like an asshole, John was MIA, and Meg was a few weeks away from giving birth. Some of these problems he just wasn’t sure he could fix.

“Hey, bro. Are you okay?”

Ben glanced over his shoulder. Pedro and Balthazar looked back at him in concern, approaching him from the direction of the parking lot. He was satisfied to see the way their fingers brushed against each other as they walked, shoulder-to-shoulder. They were practically holding hands.

“What are you guys doing here?” he asked, stuffing the list quickly out of sight.

Pedro sat down on his right, Balthazar on his left. They had that happy, post-date glow about them. Although they refused to call them ‘dates’, Ben wasn’t sure what else to classify them as. Pedro and Balthazar clearly liked each other. They hung out a lot… _alone_. They flirted—whether consciously or not—and Pedro had started to pull away from Beatrice as a result.

Ben felt bad for deliberately causing Beatrice any sort of pain. But, fortunately, she either hadn’t noticed her boyfriend’s sudden aloofness, or perhaps she just didn’t care. Either way, the Pedrazar part of his plan was coming along nicely. And Ursula, along with Verges and Dogberry, were capturing every second of it.

“Ursula called,” Balthazar said, “said you were moping around by yourself again. Is everything okay?”

“Just thinking.” Ben glanced between the two boys. “How was your…thing?”

Balthazar blushed, sensing the near-slip. Ben had wanted so badly to call it a ‘date’, but he wasn’t sure how Pedro would respond to that. The problem with trying to get the two of them together lay in Pedro’s repressed sexuality. If he wasn’t ready to come out, then there was nothing anyone could or _should_ do to rush him. Ben felt almost guilty for knowing something so personal about Pedro, that Pedro himself didn’t seem to fully understand yet.

“The film was great!” Pedro enthused. “You should have come, man.”

“Maybe next time,” Ben said, forcing a smile.

Balthazar studied Ben closely. He saw something there that caused him to touch Pedro’s arm gently and say, “Could you give us a minute?”

Pedro’s brow furrowed, but he nodded. “Sure. Whatever you need.”

Once Pedro was safely out of earshot—heading back towards the parking lot—Balthazar fixed Ben with a serious expression. “What’s going on?” he asked.

Ben sighed. “Nothing…I don’t know…”

“You’re worried,” Balthazar realized. “It’s understandable. I would be, in your position.”

“That’s not really cheering me up.”

“It’s not supposed to cheer you up, it’s supposed to spur you into action. You had all of these plans to help people…well, go and get it done.”

Ben smiled ruefully. “That’s not at all what my Balthazar would have said.”

“What would your Balthazar have said?”

“Nothing, probably.” Ben quirked a smile. “He would have just written a cryptic song about it and posted it on the internet.”

Balthazar flushed pink. “You really need to stop teasing me for things _your_ Balthazar did. It’s like secondary embarrassment. It’s horrible.”

Ben laughed. “I’m glad I have you, Balthy. Truly.”

“Well, you’re going to have me forever if you don’t get your ass into gear and start doing what you came here to do.”

“Got any advice for me, oh wise one?” Ben asked, only half-joking.

“Fix the biggest problem first. Then everything else might start falling into place.”

Ben thought about it, and grinned. “I know exactly what I need to do.”

“There’s that smile again,” Balthazar sighed apprehensively.

“Call your boyfriend back,” Ben said, jumping to his feet. “Tell him we need a ride.”

“Where are we going?”

“Back to the Dragon’s lair.”

Balthazar’s eyebrows rose. “You mean Beatrice?”

“I always mean Beatrice.”

 

 

 

When they arrived at the Duke’s house, Ben started to doubt the validity of his plan. The biggest problem he faced in fixing this version of reality was the misunderstanding between Hero and Claudio. His concern was, could Claudio be made to see the truth? He had become something of a scoundrel since the incident at Hero’s party. His pain over her ‘betrayal’ had turned inwards, into something dark and uncaring. He was a completely different person, one that Ben wasn’t sure he could relate to anymore. But if he was going to figure this out, he needed to get the old team back together. Ben and Beatrice—side by side again. Together there was nothing they couldn’t do. Or so he hoped. And that was only if Beatrice didn’t immediately slam the door in his face.

“Are you going to knock?” Balthazar asked, raising his eyebrows. He was standing on the stoop behind him, hands in his pockets, watching Ben curiously. There had been no time to fill Balthazar or Pedro in on the plan before they rushed over here. Pedro was still parking the car. Probably taking his time to avoid Beatrice’s initial onslaught.

Ben hesitated, with his hand raised to press the doorbell. Balthazar, sensing his anxiety, leaned over and pushed it for him.

Hero was the one to answer the door. She took one look at them and said, “You’re taking your lives into your own hands, showing up here again.”

“Is Beatrice in?” Ben asked.

“Who wants to know?” Beatrice sauntered up to the door. When she spotted Ben, a strange expression flitted across her face. “Oh,” she said, dead-pan, “it’s you.”

“It’s me,” Ben agreed brightly. Maybe he was over-compensating. “Can we come in?”

“Is Pedro with you?”

“He’s parking the car,” Balthazar said. He looked a bit uncomfortable, talking about Pedro with her, even about the most innocent of topics. Ben felt a twinge of guilt. In his world, Balthazar was so perfect and pure…just the best sort of person. And here he was, turning him into a scheming home-wrecker. Sometimes he worried that he was making things worse, rather than better.

Beatrice considered the two of them, but it was Ben that her eyes eventually landed on. “Come in,” she said finally.

Hardly able to believe his luck, Ben skipped across the threshold before she could change her mind. Balthazar glanced over his shoulder and followed suit.

“Do you guys want anything?” Hero asked, and Ben couldn’t help but smile. Maybe the Hero he knew and loved wasn’t completely gone, after all.

“I’ll have a cup of tea,” Ben requested, while Balthazar shook his head and smiled.

Beatrice sat down on the couch, put her feet up on the coffee table, and crossed her arms. “What exactly are you doing here?” she demanded.

“Well—”

“And don’t beat around the bush. I don’t have the time or the patience to listen to one of your insane rants right now.”

Ben flashed a grin, and then it was gone. “I know Hero didn’t cheat on Claudio. And I know how to prove it.”

Hero, in the kitchen, suddenly switched the kettle off at the wall so that she could listen in.

“What do you know?” Beatrice asked. “You weren’t even there.”

“Let me guess…Claudio publically slut-shamed her, accused her of seeing Robbie Borrachio behind his back, and then stormed out.”

“I don’t think there’s a person at Messina who doesn’t know that story,” Beatrice said, and Ben saw Hero visibly flinch.

“Didn't you ever wonder why Robbie claimed to be having this affair with Hero?”

“He’s an asshole. He lied. That's what assholes do.”

“Because John Donaldson paid him to do it.”

_SMASH!_

Ben and Balthazar whipped around. Unbeknownst to them, Pedro had slipped into the kitchen to help Hero with the tea. He had picked up a mug to carry to the table, only to have it fall from his slack fingers at the sound of his brother’s name. His face was stark white.

Beatrice hurried to his side. Hero had a hand over her mouth and tears in her eyes.

Ben glanced at Balthazar. “What did I say?”

“You shouldn’t talk about my brother like that,” Pedro said in a low voice. His hands were balled into fists, and shaking.

“Why? It’s the truth. He paid Robbie to tear Claudio and Hero apart, in order to make you look bad. He really hated you. _Hates_ you.”

“What is _wrong_ with you?” Beatrice demanded, putting her arm around Pedro’s shoulders. He shook her off, creating some distance between them.

“What am I missing here?” Ben asked, frowning. “Why is everyone acting so weird?”

“Ben…” Balthazar began, starting to make the connection that Ben hadn’t quite reached yet.

“This actually makes sense, kind of,” Hero said quietly, tentatively. “I mean, you always wondered why he did it, right?”

“Did _what?_ ” Ben cried.

"It was probably the guilt. I mean, it happened right after I went into hospital..."

"Will someone please tell me _what the hell is going on?_ "

“A few months ago,” Pedro said, with steel in his voice and tears in his eyes, “my brother tried to commit suicide.”


	10. Beatrice and Benedick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben visits John in hospital, and then he and Beatrice have a heart-to-heart.

Ben hovered outside the door, unable to make himself step all the way inside. Crossing the threshold would make it all real.

Balthazar had offered to come with him, but this was something Ben had to do alone. Besides, he needed Balthy to run interference with Pedro and Beatrice. His bulldozer approach had left a lot of damage it’s wake.

Pedro had been the one to find John. They weren’t close, they barely spoke, but finding your brother lying prone on the floor, barely breathing, an empty pill bottle clasped in his hand…

Hero told Ben in confidence that Pedro had been seeing a therapist for a month now, to try to work through what had happened. It was the reason why, in this world, he was so meek and apologetic all the time. He felt responsible for what happened to John, and so just automatically assumed the blame for everyone else’s mistakes.

And John…

This wasn’t something Ben could fix. If his returning home really did depend on mending his friends’ lives, then he was going to be stuck here for good. Because there was no way that he could wake John up from a _coma_. Not if the best doctors in New Zealand couldn’t do it.

Taking a deep breath, Ben pushed his way into the hospital ward. It was the room where they stowed the long-term care patients, the coma kids that they didn’t really expect to ever wake up.

John was in the last bed. His hair was cut short, his body so skinny it looked skeletal, but other than that he could have been sleeping.

A nurse came in to check John’s chart as Ben took a seat next to the bed. She saw the stunned look on his face and asked, “Relative? Friend? Partner?”

“Friend.”

The nurse nodded slowly. “Don’t worry. We’re taking good care of him.”

Ben tried to smile, but he couldn’t seem to make his face work. His gaze fell on the shadows under John’s eyes.

“What’re his chances?” he asked, in the smallest voice.

“Of making a full recovery? Well, that depends.”

Ben glanced up hopefully. “On what?”

“On whether or not he wants to get better. If he’s a fighter, there’s a strong possibility that he’ll make it through.”

Ben thanked the nurse as a way of dismissing her. He wanted to be alone with John.

Back in his version of reality, he and John had been well on their way to becoming friends. Best friends. Growing up in England meant that they had a lot to talk about. He felt a kinship with John that he didn’t have with anyone else, not even Beatrice. It was hard to see him like this, even an alternate version of him.

“You can talk to him, honey,” the nurse called softly, as she headed for the door. “He can hear every word you say. And sometimes it helps.”

Ben cleared his throat. “Um. Hey…John. How’s it going? I mean— _shit_.” He rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Look, long story short, I know what you did, and I know why you did it. But it’s okay. It was a pretty terrible thing for you to do, but everyone will forgive you for it eventually. We just have to work through it together.”

The monitors beeped. John didn’t stir.

“Pedro’s really worried about you. You might not believe me, but it’s true.” Ben sighed, hugging his arms around himself. “If you could wake up, that would be awesome. You may not think anyone sees you or cares about you, but I know now that you’re the reason I’m here. You being in a coma is the biggest problem with this version of reality. It wasn’t me not existing that fucked everything up, it was…this.” Ben reached out and briefly gave John’s cold hand a squeeze. “I’m going to clear everything up for you, I promise. And then when you wake up, you’ll wake up to a happy life. The happiest. That’s all I can do for you. The rest—the waking up, the healing—you have to do on your own. So just… _try_. Please.”

 

 

 

Even though he had asked him not to come, Balthazar was waiting for Ben in the hospital lobby downstairs when he was done. There were no words for this type of situation, so Balthazar simply pulled Ben into a hug.

When they eventually pulled apart, Balthazar said, “I’m sure _your_ Balthazar would have been able to whip up an amazing song about grief and strength and togetherness, but I’m drawing a blank.”

Ben blurted out a laugh.

“Come on. I'm parked around the corner,” Balthazar said, slipping his arm around Ben’s waist, as Ben did the same across his shoulders.

“Where did _you_ get a car?”

“Pedro let me borrow his. I told him that you and John used to be friends.”

“Not technically a lie,” Ben said, nodding appreciatively.

“I’m trying not to be _that guy_ , you know?” Balthazar sighed, glancing furtively sideways. “But it’s getting really hard not to, um, tell him everything…”

“You want to tell him the truth? About me?” Ben frowned. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? There’s a reason why I didn’t tell him in the first place.”

Balthazar sighed again, removing his arm from around Ben so that he could unlock the car.

“Maybe just think about it for a while?” Ben suggested. He knew he was causing Balthazar some discomfort, but was it worse or better than having the two of them split up? No matter what anyone said, Balthazar and Pedro were dating. It might not be in the conventional way, but it was definitely something. Ben knew that Balthazar was not at all happy with the way that things were unfolding. He wanted Pedro, no strings attached. All of this lying…it didn’t sit well with him. But Ben knew that Pedro would never believe in his crazy alternate-dimension theory. Telling him the truth would just make Pedro mistrust Balthazar and go back to thinking of Ben as the crazy guy he found lying in his pajamas on the school football field.

“So, what are we going to do about John?” Balthazar asked, as they drove back towards Messina.

“We?”

“Yes, _we_. I’m with you, one hundred percent.”

Ben beamed at him. “Thanks, man.”

“Yeah. You’re welcome.”

 

 

 

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. With every fibre of my being. You are a _dick_. Everything you say is insane and stupid. What even are you?”

“Your future boyfriend.”

That one shut Beatrice up. She stared at him, mouth gaping.

Ben took a bite of pizza, chewing it thoughtfully. He gestured towards her open mouth. “Do you need me to feed you?”

Beatrice pulled a face and picked up her own slice of pizza from the box between them.  

“If you hate me so much, why am I here? At your house. Eating your pizza.”

“Because as ridiculous as I think you are, you’re the only one around here that believes in Hero’s innocence.”

“Balthazar does,” Ben pointed out. “Why not invite _him_ to this super secret meeting?” He said that just as Hero strode into the room, waved at him, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, and went back upstairs.

“Balthazar’s nice, but he’s not as clever as…”

Ben smirked. “Thanks for the compliment.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“ _Sure_ you didn’t.” Ben dropped his pizza crust back into the box. “Go on.”

Beatrice huffed out a breath. “The point is, you said that you would help clear Hero’s name. And that’s something that I would be interested in helping you with.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You just did, but sure.”

Ben quirked a smile. Same old Beatrice. “Why are you dating Pedro? Wasn’t he on Claudio’s side? Didn’t he doubt Hero, too?”

Beatrice rubbed her face, thinking. “We did break up there for a while, but after what happened with John…it made Pedro more sensitive. He saw that what they were doing to Hero was wrong and came over to be for my forgiveness.”

Ben raised an eyebrow. He couldn’t imagine ‘begging’ would have seemed attractive to Bea at all. “Are you just dating him because of what happened to his brother? Is this a pity thing?”

“Pity? Bleurgh— _no_. What sort of person dates someone out of _pity_?”

“People that are far too clever, and should probably have known better. But that’s not the point! You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Which one?”

“You _know_ which one.”

Beatrice avoided his eye. “No, I, I don’t think I know what you’re talking about…”

Ben leaned across the table and caught her chin between his fingers, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes widened. “You shouldn’t try to lie to me, love. I know you too well.”

“Because you’re my future boyfriend?”

Ben sat back and grinned. “Something like that.”


	11. Pedrazar and Beadick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our two favourite couples spend some quality time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honour of the first LLL stills being released, I give you...another chapter! Are you guys flipping out as much as I am? Dat Pedrazar, tho. Ammiright? <3

“Is this how you normally conduct business? Because I have a few complaints that I’d like to raise with the Union.”

“There is no Union. There is only me, your almighty dictator!”

“ _Dick_ is right…”

“Hey, guys?” Pedro said, glancing apprehensively between Ben and Beatrice. “I don’t think that this is how you play Monopoly.”

“Really?” Ben looked down at the board. “How are you supposed to play it?”

“Less competitively, I’m sure,” Balthazar muttered.

“This is a game, is it not?” said Beatrice, puffing herself up. “That means that there is a winner, and a loser. And I _will_ be the winner.”

“Yeah, but you’re not allowed to make shady back-alley deals with imaginary extortionists. That’s not a part of the game!”

“They introduced a prison system into the game,” Beatrice insisted. “Therefore, _they_ established the presence of a criminal underworld. Which means white-collar criminals, who are capable of swindling Ben out of his railway stations at half of the cost.”

Pedro massaged the space between his brows with two fingers. “This is why I didn’t want to play.”

“And what do _you_ have to say for yourself?” Balthazar asked, raising his eyebrows at Ben.

“I plead the fifth.”

“Wish you would do that more often,” Beatrice muttered.

“Don’t!” Pedro cried, pointing a finger at Ben, who had been about to retort. “No! Stop it, both of you.” He glanced sidelong at Balthy. “Why do I get the feeling that we’re the exhausted parents of two very naughty children?”

Ben nudged Balthazar painfully in the side and winked.

“I don’t know, but I think you might be right,” he gasped.

Ben turned back to Beatrice, smirking. “Quit stalling! If your criminal underworld theory is valid, then I should be able to use it to screw you in this deal. That means that I get your Mayfair property and you get _nothing_.”

Pedro sighed and leaned in closer to Balthazar. “We should leave them to it. I have a feeling that this could take a while. Do you want to go outside with me?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

Balthazar followed Pedro out of the house and down the drive. He wasn’t sure why, but his heart was beating very fast. Maybe it was the way Pedro had rested his hand on his leg as he whispered in his ear. Or maybe it was the tone in which Pedro had asked him to join him outside. Either way, Balthazar knew that his feelings for Pedro had not lessened from knowing him better. In fact, they grew with every passing day. Whatever else Ben might be, he was a good friend. Balthazar had never been happier than over the past two months, and, for better or worse, that was mostly down to Ben’s meddling. And Pedro.

Pedro led him to the park down the street and sat down on one of the battered swings, curling his arms around the chains. It was a muggy Friday afternoon, and there were kids crawling all over the climbing-frame behind them. But nobody paid either of them any attention.

Balthazar sat down on the other swing, waiting for Pedro to speak.

“Looks like we have a similar taste in partners,” Pedro eventually said.

Balthazar frowned, but then he realized that Pedro meant Ben. “Seems like it.”

“How long were the two of you going out?”

“Not long.”

Pedro glanced at him surreptitiously. “So you weren’t _too_ upset when he broke up with you?”

“It was actually kind of a relief.”

Pedro nodded slowly. He kept shooting glances at Balthy out of the corner of his eye. “What was it…um, what was it like with Ben?”

“Ben? Or men in general?” Balthazar wasn’t sure what made him say it, but the tension between them was killing him.

Pedro flushed. “I didn’t mean to—”

“No, don’t worry about it,” Balthazar said hurriedly. “You can ask me anything.”

“OK.”

They were silent for a long time. Balthazar considered asking Pedro point-blank if there was any chance of them someday being together, but he quickly changed his mind. If Pedro couldn’t even discuss same-sex relationships without getting fidgety and embarrassed, then he certainly wasn’t ready to be in one himself.

“What is it like?” Pedro asked suddenly, “dating another guy?”

Balthazar shrugged. “For me, it’s just like having a really close mate…a mate that you make out with, and write embarrassingly sappy love songs for, apparently. But I guess it’s different for everyone.”

“With Ben, uh, which one of you…which one of you was the girl?”

“Neither of us. We’re both guys. That’s kind of the point.”

Pedro rubbed his hands together nervously.

“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but is there a reason you’re asking all of these questions?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s fine if you’re curious, I just wondered if maybe…” Balthazar trailed off, worried that he had gone too far.

Pedro was suddenly very interested in brushing the lint off of his jeans. He took a long time to answer. “I’m going to be honest here, I don’t know why I’m asking you these things. Sometimes I just have these feelings…feelings similar to those I used to have for Beatrice, but for…someone else.”

“A guy?” Balthazar guessed.

Pedro caught his eye, looking extremely vulnerable. “Yeah.”

“You know it’s okay to be yourself, right? If liking guys is part of who you are, then don’t fight it. Embrace it.”

“What should I do about it?” Pedro asked anxiously.

“Exactly what you _are_ doing. Talk about it, try to figure your shit out, and then see how you feel. But if you _are_ starting to have feelings for someone else, you should probably not mess Beatrice around. That’s relationship 101, no matter what your sexuality.”

Pedro quirked a small smile. “Thanks, Balth.”

“Yeah. No worries.”

“Do you want to go get some ice-cream?”

Balthazar grinned. “Sure. But just _one_ this time, right?”

“Rocky road?”

Balthazar raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Yeah…How did you…?”

“Come on!” Pedro jumped off the swing. “We should head back before Bea and Ben kill each other.”

Balthazar shook the crazy thoughts from his head. So what if Pedro remembered his ice-cream preferences? So what if Pedro might have feelings for a guy? It didn’t mean anything. Nope. No reason to get his hopes up.

 

 

 

Balthazar cornered Ben the second they were back at home. He and Pedro had arrived at the Duke residence to find a full-scale verbal war being waged between a red-faced Beatrice and a smirking Ben. They had left soon after that, to prevent a physical fight (which Ben surely would have lost) from breaking out.

“Is this how you won Beatrice over the last time? Because it’s an interesting tactic, I’ll give you that,” Balthazar said, crossing his arms in disapproval.

“I’m not trying to win her over; I already have a girlfriend. I’m just having some fun – I kind of miss the catty banter we used to have. Call it nostalgia.”

“Well, if this is what constitutes flirting between the two of you, you should cut it out right now. You don’t want to go giving her the wrong impression.”

Ben frowned. “Wrong impression?”

“If you’re not careful, you might accidentally make _this_ Beatrice fall for you, too. And then what happens to her when you leave?”

Ben snorted. “She’s not going to fall for me. She _hates_ me.”

“Yeah. Exactly.”

Ben’s eyes widened. He stared at Balthazar in panic. “ _Shit_. You’re right. I’m too irresistible for my own good!”

Balthazar rolled his eyes.

“You had better stay away from me, Balthy. My animal magnetism is too strong! It might start affecting you, too!”

“I’ll try to control myself.”

“Do. Or do not. There is no try.”

“Did you just quote _Star Wars_ at me?”

Ben shrugged. “It calms me.”

Balthazar flopped down on his bed and sighed. Ben’s expression grew sly. “So…where did you and Pedro slip off to earlier? Bea and I looked around and you were gone.”

Balthazar pressed a pillow over his face to hide his blush. “Just went to buy some ice-cream. It’s so hot today. Isn’t it hot?” He could hear Ben laughing through the pillow.

“Tell me what happened,” Ben said eagerly.

“Nothing, that’s what happened.”

“Buzz kill.” Ben shrugged good-naturedly, “Oh well. I guess I can always review the footage later.”

Balthazar peeked out from under the pillow and frowned. “Footage?”


	12. Verges and Dogberry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balthazar tries out for the Messina soccer team, and Ben's scheming gets out of hand.

“W-We have a problem. You n-need to get down here n-now!”

Ben pulled the phone away from his ear as the dial-tone hit. He frowned.

Ursula had initially been reluctant to participate in his schemes, but the lure of the camera was too strong. She, along with Verges and Dogberry, had been secretly tailing Pedro and Balthazar for weeks now, capturing every moment of Pedrazar gold. Perhaps it was an invasion of privacy—oh, who was he kidding, it _definitely_ was—but Ben had a plan.

He had called Ursula earlier that morning to tell her that Balthazar was on the move. Pedro had finally convinced him to try out for the school football team and today was the first round of tryouts. After months of pleading and whining and begging, it had only taken one word from Pedro to convince Balthazar to give it a go. But then, stranger things _had_ happened. He had certainly done a number of things because of his relationship with Beatrice that he otherwise wouldn’t have. Falling in love, being one of them.

Balthazar had asked Ben to stay away from the tryouts. Apparently he didn’t want a large audience to his humiliation. But now Ursula had rung him in a panic, telling him to get over there as quickly as he could.

Ben arrived at Messina half an hour later. Things had escalated since Ursula’s call. She was standing with her hands pressed over her ears, while Pedro yelled in Dogberry’s face. Verges was clinging to Dogberry, yelling nonsensically, and Balthazar was shaking his head incredulously.

“What’s going on?” Ben asked, jogging over.

Pedro took a deep, shuddering breath. “This kid over here—he’s been following me! Spying on me! I caught him snooping around outside my brother’s bedroom window last night. And now here he is again!”

Ben’s expression grew sheepish. Balthazar saw this, and buried his face in his hands.

“I’m sure he’s harmless,” Ben said, waving a hand dismissively.

Dogberry turned to him in confusion. “But, Mr Hobbes, you required our expertise to—”

Ben reached out and shoved Dogberry to the ground. He fell lightly, Verges catching him just in time, but still looked rattled. Everyone else just stared. Balthazar literally face-palmed.

“Dude!” Pedro cried, so shocked he forgot to be angry. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m sorry! I panicked!” Ben bent down to help Dogberry back to his feet. The year nine’s cap had rolled away and Pedro picked it up, brushing away the grass and dirt. He handed it back to him.

Dogberry jammed the cap over his loose curls. “I am very gratified for your help.”

“Yeah, sure. Just don’t let me catch you following me again, alright?”

“Yes, of course. I won’t let you catch me.”

Balthazar snorted. Luckily the sound distracted Pedro from Dogberry’s words, or else the fight might have been re-started.

“Why are you laughing?” Pedro said, mock-annoyed. “You still have another twenty shuttle-runs to do.”

Balthazar lifted his shoulders in an ‘oh, well, what can you do?’ kind of way. He flashed Pedro a mischievous smile and then jogged back to join the other trialists. Pedro stared after him for a moment, blinked, shook his head, and then turned back to Ben.

“Are you here to support Balthazar?” he asked.

Ben gave him the thumbs up. “Yep! That’s _exactly_ what I’m here for. Nothing else. No sir!”

Pedro shot him a weird look. “Alright then. Catch you later, Ben.”

Ben sagged in relief.

“I-Is it over?” Ursula stammered, slinking over to his side as Pedro marched across the football pitch to re-join the decrepit coach, who was helping him oversee the tryout.

“You could have handled this yourself, you know,” Ben said, “I have a feeling that you’d be pretty good at making people see reason.”

“I-I wouldn’t know w-what to say. Or h-how to say it.”

Ben tapped the camera in her hands. “Use this.”

 

 

“Shut up! All of you! I’ve got something to say.” Pedro, still chuckling over a joke that Balthy had just told him, stood up and raised his glass. “I’d like to make a toast!”

“The toaster’s over there,” Ben commented, nodding towards the Dukes’ kitchen. Beatrice kicked his leg under the table.

“To Balthazar—the newest member of the Messina High soccer team! Congrats, buddy. You deserve it.”

Ben leaned over towards Balthazar. “Sleeping your way to the top, eh? _Nice_.”

Balthazar blushed and pushed him away.

“To Balthazar!” everyone chorused, clinking glasses.

Pedro had called them over to the Dukes’ house to celebrate as soon as the decision had been made. Balthazar had made the team, something that he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted, but that made him feel liked and included for the first time in his life.

Pedro dropped back into the seat next to him, while everyone else split off into separate conversations. The entire Messina team had been invited (bar Claudio, who was on a date anyway), as well as Verges and Dogberry (to apologize for Pedro’s overreacting at the tryouts), Ben, the Duke cousins—obviously, as it was their house—and Meg. Ursula had been asked to come, but immediately declined. Social situations weren’t really her forte, although Ben could see that their little video project was starting to help her. It gave her something to focus on, other than her own anxieties.

“Hey, we should play a game—”

“NO!” Balthazar and Pedro cried at the same time.

“Not a _board_ game.” Ben rolled his eyes. “Something fun.”

“Board games _are_ fun,” Beatrice said, narrowing her eyes.

“Yes, they are,” Pedro agreed. “Just not the way you guys play them.”

Balthazar nodded emphatically.

“What did you have in mind?” Meg asked eagerly, heaving herself upright. Her pregnant belly was so big that, when she leaned back like she had been before, it almost entirely eclipsed her face.

“How about…?” Ben smiled at Balthazar, who’s eyes widened. “Truth or dare?”

“Aren’t we bit old for truth or dare?” Hero asked quietly. It had taken a lot of coaxing to get her to come downstairs. The football guys were the ones who had been most vocal in slut-shaming her after the Claudio/Birthday incident. But everyone was in such a good mood that nothing like that had even crossed their minds.

“Yeah, we’re not fourteen,” Beatrice scoffed.

“What are you _doing_?” Balthazar asked trepidatiously, so that only Ben could hear. “What if…?” He trailed off, his eyes flicking fearfully towards Pedro.

“Don’t worry—there’s an easy way to circumvent it. _Lie_.” Ben turned back towards the group and raised his voice. “Who wants to go first?”

“Bene _dick_ ,” Beatrice said loudly. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“OK. Question: how on earth did you get someone as sweet as Balthazar to go out with you?”

Balthazar felt his cheeks flush at the compliment, and at all of the eyes that suddenly swung in his direction. But, for the first time ever, nobody seemed all that bothered by the reference to his sexuality. In fact, everyone was smiling. Was this what it felt like to have friends? To be a part of a team?

Ben glanced at Balthy and smirked. “I just told him that he was dating me. He didn’t really have much of a choice.”

Balthazar grinned, remembering. He was glad that they had reached a point where he was capable of laughing about it. When he glanced over, he saw that Pedro was watching him. But as their eyes met, he quickly looked away.

“My turn!” Ben sang. “Hmmm. Who could we possibly pick? Balthazar!”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.” Ben smirked, “Truth or dare?”

Balthazar wasn’t very good at lying, and he was terrified as to what Ben might ask him in front of all of these witnesses. “Dare,” he finally sighed.

As soon as he said it, he realized his mistake.

Ben held up an empty beer bottle. “I’m going to spin this. Whoever it lands on, the two of you have to go into that closet"- he pointed - "and play seven minutes of heaven.”

“It’s called Seven Minutes _In_ Heaven, you idiot,” Beatrice sighed.

“I reserve the right to disagree. Let’s do it!”

Balthazar had a terrible feeling he knew where this was going. He shook his head surreptitiously, trying to dissuade Ben, but he had already set the bottle spinning. It was too late to turn back now.

The bottle stopped on exactly who Balthazar knew it would. He wanted to curl up into a ball and die. Could Ben be any more obvious?

Pedro stared at him across the circle.

The football lads were catcalling and laughing, but not in a cruel way. Most of them were jokingly threatening to employ the same dare on each other.

Balthazar sighed. He glanced up at Pedro, who shrugged.

“Come on!” Beatrice crowed. Despite the fact that her boyfriend was about to go and make-out with someone else, she seemed more amused than anyone. Probably because she had already downed three pints of cider. The alcohol was making everyone particularly jovial. Balthazar wished he'd had more to drink; it might have made this situation slightly less awkward. Pedro, too, he noticed, was stone cold sober. He wasn't sure if that made things worse or better.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Pedro suggested. His tone didn’t exactly fill Balthazar with confidence. They walked into the hallway closet and one of the football guys pushed a chair up against the door behind them.

“Remember to use tongue,” he teased.

“Your time starts—now!” Ben called, his voice muffled by the door.

The closet was very small. They were standing practically chest-to-chest. Balthazar knew he should be making the most of this opportunity, but it just didn’t feel right. He wanted his first kiss with Pedro to be on his own terms. He didn’t like having to trick him into it, even if, technically, it was Ben who had tricked them both.

“We don’t have to do anything,” Balthazar assured him, picking at his sleeve. “We can just lie and say we—”

His words were cut off as Pedro’s lips found his.


	13. Cora and Robbie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balthazar dishes the dirt on what happened in the closet with Pedro, and Cora goes apeshit.

“So,” Ben said, resting his chin in his hands and grinning, “how was it?”

“How was what?”

“Don’t act coy with me. I saw you when you came out of that closet—all red-faced and messy-haired. Spill!”

“What are you? A fourteen-year-old fan-girl?”

Ben’s grin widened. “I ship it.”

Balthazar sighed. He knew Ben wouldn’t give up until he had his answer. “It was…I don’t know, _weird_. It was like I was watching it happen to someone else. And now it's hard to believe that it ever even happened.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that, well, in that one moment, things felt different. More…hopeful, I guess. And now they don’t.”

“It’s like in _Twelfth Night_. You know, the play?” Ben flapped his hands around a lot as he talked. He tended to do that whenever he got going on one of his intellectual rants. A habit, Balthazar noted in amusement, that he had probably picked up from _his_ Beatrice. “Temporality is suspended because of the festive atmosphere, and all bets are off. While you were in the closet—”

“—that’s a metaphor if ever I heard one,” Balthazar muttered.

Ben shot him a look and continued, “—in the closet, time seemed to stop, right? You felt like you were separated from the rest of the world. You didn’t have to be the gay musician and the bisexual student leader, you could just be Pedro and Balthy. It made things easier. But the self-contained moment of festivity couldn’t be maintained. As soon as you stepped out of the bubble, things reverted back to the way they were. That’s why you feel so weird; because it was a different, free-er version of yourself that was doing those things in the closet with Pedro. And now the _real_ you has to deal with the consequences.”

“I wish Shakespeare could write my life,” Balthazar sighed. “Then I’d know that things were going to turn out alright in the end. Or, you know, we’d implement a suicide pact…” He stopped and stared at Ben. “Where did you learn all of this, anyway?”

“Where do you think? Beatrice.”

“Is this what you and Bea do all day? Sit around feeling smugly superior and teaching each other university-level literary analysis.”

“That’s what _Beatrice_ does. She teaches me about literature, maths and science, and I teach her about _luuuuuurve_.”

Balthazar raised his eyebrows. “And this is the man that I’ve been receiving all of my relationship advice from. Perfect.”

Ben laughed. “Come on—don’t leave me in suspense! Apart from your existential crisis moment, were your seven minutes heavenly?”

Balthazar allowed his mind to wander back to the night before. He had specifically been blocking out that part of his memory for the past twelve hours.

The kiss had been a surprise. Despite the weird vibes that he’d been getting from Pedro lately, he hadn’t expected things to progress so quickly. But Pedro had just grabbed him by the sweater and gone for it:

 

_“We don’t have to do anything,” Balthazar said, picking at his sleeve. “We can just lie and say we—”_

_His words were cut off as Pedro’s lips found his._

_Pedro’s fingers clung to the front of his sweater, reeling him in. It was dark. They fumbled. It wasn’t pretty. But Balthazar’s heart was racing the entire time._

_This went on for maybe two minutes, he wasn't sure, and then Pedro leaned away, gasping for breath. They stared at each other in the semi-darkness._

_“I like you,” Pedro admitted, and he sounded so relieved, as if he’d been dying to say it for a long time now._

_“I like you, too.”_

_“Yeah?” Pedro grinned. He pressed his palm against the wall behind Balthazar, leaning closer._

_“What about Beatrice?” Balthazar asked._

_“I’m going to break up with her. It’s the right thing to do. You were right. If I like someone else, then I shouldn’t be with her. It’s not fair to either of us. Or to you.”_

_Balthazar swallowed. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”_

_“Are you trying to talk me out of it?”_

_“No, I just…look at where we’re standing. We’re quite literally_ in the closet _. I’m just worried that you won’t feel the same when we walk back through that door.”_

_“You think I’m not ready?”_

_Balthazar looked at him seriously. “Have you even come out to your parents yet?”_

_“Well, no…”_

_“I don’t know where your head’s at,” Balthazar admitted, “but I don’t want to force this on you. If you need some time to figure things out…”_

_Pedro swooped down and kissed him. This time was better. They had found their rhythm. A few breathless moments later, he said, “You’re so genuine. It’s one of the things I like most about you. But you don’t need to worry. This is what I want.”_

_Balthazar wanted to trust him, but he had been burned before. He was also concerned that Pedro was rushing into things in order to try to make sense of what he was feeling. That wasn’t the right way to handle situation. He should know._

_“Quit worrying,” Pedro said, smiling, “everything’s going to be fine.”_

_Suddenly, the door swung open and light streamed into the closet. When Balthazar’s eyes adjusted, he saw that Pedro had taken a hasty step back._

_“Congratulations,” Ben said, glancing between the two of them, “your time is up.”_

_“Cool,” Pedro said. His voice sounded weird. Balthazar glanced up at him and saw that his prediction had come true._

_As Ben turned to face the eager crowd back in the living room, Pedro leaned over and whispered, “Let’s keep this between us for now, okay? Just until I’ve told my parents.”_

“Yoo-hoo! Earth to Balthy!” Ben waved his hand in front of his face.

Balthazar snapped out of the memory and refocused on his friend. “He said he likes me.”

“That’s great!”

“He also wants to keep our thing a secret.”

“Not so great.”

Balthazar fiddled with a guitar pick he had found on the floor of his bedroom. It had just been lying there, calling to him. “You like telling people what to do, right? Give me some advice.”

“Why don’t you take your _own_ advice? You said that you didn’t want to be his mistress…so don’t be. Wait and see what he does, then make a decision.”

“Things were a lot simpler before you arrived,” Balthazar pointed out.

“They were also a lot less _fun_.”

Suddenly, Ben’s phone started buzzing. He snatched it up off the kitchen counter and checked the caller ID.

“Ursula? What’s up?”

“Y-You said to call if w-we found out anything. Well, you’re going to w-want to see this…”

Balthazar watched Ben’s expression change. “Is everything okay?”

“I have somewhere I need to be,” he said, hanging up the phone. “Don’t wait up for me.”

“That sounds ominous. Do you want me to come with you?”

Ben shook his head, grabbing his jacket off the hook on the wall. “You stay here. I have a feeling Pedro might come calling.”

Balthazar rolled his eyes. “His life doesn’t revolve around me. I’m sure he has better things to do than—” He was cut short as Ben yanked open the front door to reveal a startled-looking Pedro, standing there with his hand raised to knock.

“Hi,” he said sheepishly.

“Bye!” Ben called, dashing down the driveway and out of sight.

“What was all that about?” Pedro asked, glancing over his shoulder to watch him go.

Balthazar sighed. “I have no idea.” He peeked at Pedro through his eyelashes. “Ice-cream?”

 

 

“Where is he?” Ben demanded, catching up to Ursula outside the coffee shop.

“Inside. Cora’s going c-crazy.”

“You should stay out here…” Ben started to say, but Ursula cut him off with an angry; “Like _hell_ I am.”

The Café was in turmoil. Cora had exploded from behind the counter, brandishing a broom, screeching at a cowering figure in the corner. The other customers had scarpered. The rest of the staff were trapped, Cora standing between them and the door.

“This is your fault! _Yours!_ What fucking right to you have to come crawling back here? You should have stayed where you were!”

“Cora!” Ben threw himself in front of the broom handle, catching it on the side of the face. He clutched his eye, but still refused to move aside.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Cora demanded, although accidentally striking him had given her pause.

“You need to calm down,” Ben implored, “this isn’t going to help anything.”

“Watching this fucker hurt will _help_ me feel better." _  
_

“If you drop the broom and come with me right now, I’ll take you to see him.”

Cora froze. “See who?”

“You _know_ who,” Ben said, relaxing slightly. “I have pull with the family. I can get you in.”

Cora hesitated, but dropped the broom willingly enough. The man she had just been on the verge of assaulting straightened up out of the fetal position.

Robbie Borrachio cleared his throat gruffly. “Thanks for that, dude. This bitch is _crazy_.”

Ben almost considered letting Cora have at him when he said that, but Ursula beat them both to it. She reached up and slapped him hard across the face. Ben and Cora stood there in shock.

“What the fuck was that for?” Robbie whined, his cheek red and raw.

“That was for Meg,” Ursula said, with not the hint of a stutter.

“O-K…” Ben glanced between the two women cautiously. “I think everyone just needs to take a deep breath. Maybe we should go outside...?”

Ursula, her moment of catharsis over, glanced around at the startled onlookers. “That s-sounds like a g-good idea. Cora?”

“You’re fired!” the scrawny Café manager called after them, as Ben and Ursula frog-marched Cora from the building.

“You’re really taking me to see him?” Cora said, glancing between the two of them.

“Let me just make a call,” Ben said, nodding. Ursula led Cora to her car, while Ben punched in Pedro’s number. He hated to interrupt what he hoped had become a steamy make-out session between him and Balthy, but it couldn’t be helped.

Worryingly, Pedro answered on the first ring. “ _What?_ ” he snapped.

Ben stared down at the phone. “Pedro?”

“Yes? What it is?”

“I called to ask you a favor, but if this is a bad time…?”

“Yeah, yeah it _is_ a bad time. And it’s all your fucking fault!”

“Everyone really needs to stop playing the blame game today,” Ben sighed into his phone as the dial-tone hit. He hesitated a moment, and then sent a text to Balthazar.

 

**To Balthy:**

Guess it didn’t go well, then?

 

**From Balthy:**

How do u set up a YouTube account? I have a song 2 upload.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just pitched 'web series as a form of adaptation' as an idea for my third-year dissertation. Basically, I want to re-watch NMTD and (eventually) LLL one million times and claim it as research :P Pretty sure I just reached a new level of obsession! What do you guys think of my sneaky plan? xx


	14. John and Cora

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben takes Cora to see John, and things between Pedro and Balthy get...well, you'll see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This'll be my last chapter update until this time next week. I have essays, bleurgh, you know how it is. Hope you enjoy xx

Ben sat behind the wheel, glancing nervously across at Cora. He hadn’t known her all that well in _his_ version of reality. So what, exactly, was he supposed to say to her now?

He also wasn’t sure how he was going to sneak the both of them in to see John. When he’d come last time, it had been with Pedro’s express permission, and the permission of his parents. But Pedro was too angry over whatever had happened with Balthazar to talk to him.

After the incident at the Café, Ben had dropped Ursula off and told her to go and check on Balthy, while he dealt with Cora. Now he wondered if that had been a mistake. Ursula was so kind and sweet—slapping douchebags _who deserved it_ aside—that she could talk her way into anywhere. Ben wasn’t all that confident that he could pull it off.

“What now?” Cora demanded. She had sat in stony silence all the way to the hospital.

Ben cleared his throat awkwardly. “Now, we go inside.”

Cora climbed out of the car, but he stayed where he was.

“Well?” she snapped. “Are we going?”

Taking a deep breath, Ben unbuckled the seatbelt and got out. Cora had agreed to let him drive her car only because she was too wound up to get behind the wheel. If she found out that he’d been lying, she would just take off and leave him stranded.

Not that he had lied to her, _exactly_. He _did_ have influence with the Donaldsons…just not right now, not while Pedro was being all broody and misunderstood.

In a rare stroke of luck, the nurse at the front desk recognized him. It was the same one who had tried to comfort him when he had visited the other week. She smiled at him warmly, eyes crinkling at the corners, but the expression dropped when she caught sight of Cora.

Ben quickly adopted a winning smile. “We’re here to see John,” he said, raising his eyebrows expectantly. Act like you belong somewhere and people will just assume that you do. He had learned that from a television show.

“Who’s your friend?” the nurse asked, a little suspiciously.

“This is Cora,” Ben said, as if everyone should know her, “she’s John’s girlfriend.”

Both Cora and the nurse raised their eyebrows at this.

“Is she now?” the nurse looked like she was trying not to laugh. “Well, I suppose you wouldn’t mind me checking with John’s parents about this?” She held up the phone challengingly. 

“Oh, please, go right ahead.”

“This isn’t working,” Cora hissed, “I thought you said you could get me in.”

“Don’t worry. I _got_ this.”

He didn’t have this. He didn’t have this at all. But the nurse seemed to find his attempts at bravado charming, and she waved them through, chuckling to herself. He wondered how much time they had before she actually did check with the Donaldsons.

Ben knew first hand how intimate the moment would be when Cora finally saw John again, lying there like…well, he didn’t like to think. So he waited outside, keeping watch while she visited with him.

Balthazar had texted him back, _finally_.

 

**From Balthy:**

Things went…awry. Ursula said she’d help me film _Ode To Pedro_. If it worked in ur world, then maybe it’ll work in mine 2.

 

**To Balthy:**

Nice use of ‘awry’. What happened?

**From Balthy:**

I’ll tell u when u get back. 2 hard 2 explain via text.

 

 

_They stood on opposite sides of the counter, avoiding each others’ eyes and focusing solely on the popsicles that Balthazar had dug out of the freezer._

_“Sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk yesterday,” Pedro said finally, throwing his popsicle stick into the sink. “It was just…there wasn’t anywhere private for us to…you know?”_

_Balthazar nodded slowly._

_Pedro blew out a breath, pushing his fingers through his hair. “Anyway, I just came to tell you that I broke up with Beatrice.”_

_“Seriously?”_

_Pedro glanced up at the hopeful tone in Balthazar’s voice. He grinned, a little self-consciously. “Yeah. Why? Did you think I would wimp out?”_

_“No, well, not_ wimp out _exactly, just…”_

_“I know what you mean,” Pedro said, saving him from shoving his foot any further into his mouth._

_Balthazar watched warily as Pedro came out from behind the counter and rested his hands on his shoulders. He was just starting to lean forward, his eyes slipping shut, his heartbeat pounding loud enough for both of them to hear, when Balthazar asked, “What are you doing?”_

_Pedro raised his eyebrows. “I would have thought that was obvious.”_

_“You said that you broke up with Beatrice. But you never asked me to be your boyfriend. You haven’t even asked me out on a date!”_

_“So?”_

_Balthazar took a step back. “Well, is this just a quick hook-up, or were you serious when you said that you liked me?”_

_“I was serious—I_ am _serious—I just don’t understand why we need to label it so soon.”_

_Balthazar frowned. His brow furrowed in suspicion. “You haven’t told your parents yet, have you?”_

_“I’m going to…these things take time.”_

_“I meant it when I said that I don’t want to pressure you,” Balthazar said, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “But if you’re not ready to tell people, then how is this”—he gestured between the two of them—“going to work?”_

_“What if we just dated in secret until I was ready?” Pedro asked, talking a step towards him so that their chests were flush against one another._

_“You want me to be your dirty little secret?”_

_“Not dirty,” Pedro said, pulling a face at the word, “just secret. And yes, I guess, you_ are _kind of little.”_

_He grinned at his own joke. Balthazar didn’t find it as funny._

_“I don’t want to do that,” he said. It was taking all of his self-restraint not to start making out with Pedro’s face right now, but he knew that it was the right thing to do._

_Pedro stopped trying to lean forwards and just stood there, staring at him. “I thought you said you liked me, too.”_

_“I do!”_

_“Then why isn’t this enough for you?”_

_“Because I want you! All of you!” Balthazar threw his hands up. “I’ve waited a long time for this, and I don’t want to do it half-way.”_

_“A long time?” Pedro echoed. “How long?”_

_“It’s not important. The point is, I’m not dating you while you’re still in the closet. I will support you, be your friend, help you, guide you, but I’m not going to date you, or kiss you, or do any of that stuff until you’ve fully come to terms with your sexuality.”_

_“Why are you being so difficult?” Pedro asked, looking confused and upset, like a kicked puppy._

_“I’m not being difficult,” Balthazar said, “I’m trying to help you.”_

_“And your way of helping me, is, what? To reject me?” Pedro shook his head bitterly. “I just broke up with my girlfriend for you.”_

_Balthazar could feel the situation spiraling quickly out of control. “Look, Pedro, I—”_

_“No, I get it. It’s fine. You don’t want to be with someone as emotionally fucked up as me. That’s fine. Cool. Whatever.”_

_“Pedro, you_ know _that’s not what I meant…”_

_“Why be with a guy who caused his brother to try to off himself, right?”_

_“Pedro!”_

_Too late. The front door slammed as Pedro fled from the house. Balthazar whirled around and threw his fist into the wall. It was his already-damaged hand, the one those bullies had broken all those years ago, and it hurt like a bitch. But the pain in his fingers was nothing compared to the pain in his heart._

 

 

“What happened this time?” Ben came home to find Balthazar and Ursula setting up in his living room. Balthazar was arranging his keyboard and Ursula was attaching her camera to it’s tripod.

“He broke up with Beatrice.”

“Hey, that’s awesome!”

“Then he asked if we could date in secret.”

“You really need to stop leading with the good news,” Ben sighed, “you keep getting my hopes up.”

“Oh, my bad,” Balthazar muttered sarcastically. He looked so disheartened that Ben’s desire to make jokes just fell away.

“Couldn’t you, I don’t know, give the guy a break? The situation might not be perfect, but clearly he’s trying.”

Balthazar sighed, pressing his forehead against his balled fists. Ben couldn’t help but notice that one of his hands was bandaged, but he was smart enough not to ask. “Look, I know what coming out of the closet is like. You find every little excuse not to do it, and I don’t want to give Pedro another one. I know he won’t be completely happy until he’s stopped lying to everyone. Including himself.”

“And you feel like, if you agreed to secretly date him, then he’d have no incentive to do that,” Ben finished for him, grimacing sympathetically.  

“Yeah. Yeah, something like that.”

“That’s a very mature response,” Ben said, nodding sagely. “Although I still think writing both of your names on a basketball and chucking it at his face would do the trick. Might knock some sense into the guy.”

Balthazar rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.

“Well, if you guys are all good here, it sounds like I have a broken-hearted alternate-dimensional version of my girlfriend to comfort. See you lovely losers later!”

Balthazar and Ursula exchanged a look.

“He says some w-weird things,” Ursula commented, watching Balthy for a reaction.

Balthazar shrugged, turning away to hide his smirk. “You don’t know the half of it.” 


	15. Ursula and Balthy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben attempts to comfort a now-single Bea, Balthazar gets a check-up for his hand, and Ben puts his foot in his mouth with Pedro.

“What are you doing here, Benedick?”

It was the first time she had said his name without emphasizing the _‘dick’_. He considered that progress.

“You look…fine.” Ben studied her in surprise.

“How am I supposed to look?”

“I don’t know? Heart-broken? Devastated? Consumed by rage?”

Beatrice put her hands on her hips and stared at him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Pedro said that you guys broke up.”

“Yeah, so?”

“You guys were together for, like, two years…”

“And your point is…?”

Ben frowned. Was this how _his_ Bea would react if _they_ ever broke up? He’d like to think she wouldn’t be so cavalier about it. Personally, he wouldn’t be able to function without her. He had become hopelessly co-dependent. Just thinking about it gave him the shivers. These past few months had only been bearable because he had a goal, a mission to focus on, other than the dull ache in his chest from missing her so much.

“Did you think I was some hopeless damsel in distress, waiting for my prince charming to swoop in and save me?” Beatrice snorted. “Yeah, right.”

Ben scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “That’s not what I…I mean, _are_ you alright?”

Beatrice shrugged. “It’s not like I didn’t see it coming.” She smirked at him, “You weren’t the only one shipping Balthro.”

“Balthro?”

“Yeah. Pedro and Balthy’s couple name. It’s good, right? Of course it is. I’m always right.”

“I prefer _Pedrazar_ , personally…”

“Balthro sounds cute, like them,” Bea argued. “Pedrazar just sounds like a type of dinosaur.”

“Dinosaurs are cute!”

“Not when they’re eating you! Have you _seen_ Jurassic Park?”

Ben took a deep breath. “We’re slipping down a tangent here. Do you really not mind that…well, that your boyfriend was emotionally cheating on you for the past two months?”

Beatrice sighed, stepping aside to let him in. “Come on. This isn’t really a conversation I want to have…well, _at all_. But especially not in the front yard.”

When they were settled in the living room inside, she continued, “Pedro and me…we haven’t been a couple for a long time. It’s like we slipped back into being just friends without even really noticing. When Balthazar came along, I was happy, because I saw how good he was for Pedro. He can give Pedro things that I just…can’t. So, no, I don’t mind. In fact, it's kind of a relief in some ways. Although I’m sure, once everything works itself out, I will torture them _mercilessly_ for it.”

“If you and Pedro haven’t been close in a long time, then why stay together? Why didn’t you guys break up ages ago?”

“Well, I actually tried to end the relationship once before,” Beatrice said, shifting uncomfortably. “I went over to his house to break it off, but there were ambulances everywhere, and—”

“I get it,” Ben said quickly, seeing how upset this line of conversation was making her.

Beatrice sighed. “I guess I was in a relationship formed out of pity, after all. How very hypocritical of me.”

“Are you admitting that you were—gasp!— _wrong_?”

“Hold your horses, buddy! I wouldn’t go _that_ far.”

They looked at each other and smiled.

“What about you?” Ben asked. “What are you going to do now?”

Beatrice gave him a pointed look. “Not let a man—or a relationship—define me. Just like I was doing before.”

Ben smirked. “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed me? We see each other all the time! _Unfortunately_.”

Ben just grinned. He was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to see the way Beatrice seemed incapable of preventing herself from smiling back.

 

 

“Is this really necessary? I told you, I’m _fine_.”

“Your hand is s-swollen to t-twice it’s normal size. That is the d-definition of _not fine_.”

Balthazar sighed, jiggling his leg up and down as they waited. He hated going to the doctors’ office. It reminded him too much of when he had first damaged his hand. He didn’t like to think about that incident, or that time of his life in general. Things were good now—not perfect, maybe, but getting there—and he didn’t want to go dredging up the past.

But maybe Ursula had a point. When he had tried to play the keyboard accompaniment to _Ode to Pedro_ , his entire hand had felt like it was on fire. Playing that piece was bound to be a stretch for him anyway, what with one hand being permanently out of commission.

“I-I’ve texted Ben,” Ursula told him, slipping her mobile out of sight when one of the nurses glared pointedly at the ‘no phones allowed’ sign. “And P-Pedro.”

“Pedro?”

“He cares about you. He’d want t-to know.”

Balthazar sighed. The last thing he needed right now was to see Pedro. Well, actually, it was the _first_ thing he needed, but he was pretty sure Pedro wouldn’t feel the same. And then it would be awkward. So, so awkward.

“What did they say?” Balthazar asked, trying not to appear too obvious. “You know, when you texted them?”

Ursula smiled, seeing right through him. “Ben’s j-just leaving Bea’s house now. And Pedro said he’s on his w-way.”

“Really? Just because I need an X-Ray?”

“We all care about you, B-Balthy,” Ursula said, taking his uninjured hand and giving it a squeeze.

Balthazar smiled and rested his head on her shoulder.

“Thanks, Urs.”

“Stanley Jones?”

Balthazar sat bolt upright and winced. Ursula glanced at him in surprise. “ _Stanley?_ ” she mouthed, as he scurried over to the doctor who had announced his name.

“Come with me,” the doctor said kindly, gesturing towards the radiology department.

Balthazar shot a terrified glance over his shoulder towards Ursula, who smiled at him comfortingly. The last thing he saw before the door closed between him and the waiting room was Ben, bursting in from the parking lot and looking around wildly. As happy as Balthazar was to see him, he had hoped it was Pedro at the door.

 

 

“How is he?”

Ben and Ursula glanced up as Pedro dropped into the seat opposite them. They exchanged knowing looks.

“Still having his X-Ray taken,” Ben said, “he should be out in a few minutes.”

“What happened? When I left the other day he was fine.”

“Was he?” Ben muttered.

“He exacerbated an old injury,” Ursula said loudly, over Ben’s snide dig.

 

"But how?"

“He said he hit his hand on a wall.”

“A _wall?_ ” Pedro repeated. “How does that even happen?”

“Maybe he did it on purpose,” Ben said, perfectly nonchalant.

“On purpose? Why would Balth do that?”

“Maybe something happened to make him _upset_.”

Ursula shot Ben a look of reproach. “I-I’m sure it was an accident.”

Pedro leaned back in his chair, his expression troubled.

“So…” Ben began, twiddling his thumbs, “spend time in any more closets lately?”

Pedro looked up sharply. “What did you just say?”

“You know, the party? Seven minutes of Heaven…Why? What did you _think_ I was talking about?”

“It’s Seven minutes _in_ Heaven,” Ursula said quietly.

Pedro glanced between the two of them suspiciously. “Did Balthazar say something to you?”

“About what?” Ben asked, all innocence. Ursula stayed silent, painfully aware of a danger that Ben hadn’t yet noticed.

Pedro’s face hardened. “He promised he wouldn’t say anything.”

“Say anything… _about_ _what?_ ”

“Unbelievable.” Pedro shot to his feet, hands trembling in fists at his sides, and strode jerkily from the waiting room.

Ben stared after him, realization slowly dawning. “Oops…”

“T-that could have gone better,” Ursula mused.

Ben rounded on her. “Why didn’t you try to stop me?”

“As if that’s even p-possible.”

Ben sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. Balthazar was in for a nasty surprise when he came back from having his X-Ray taken, and it was all his fault. But how was he supposed to explain to Pedro that he knew his secret, because they were friends in another dimension? To this Pedro, it looked like Balthazar had betrayed his confidence. But that couldn’t be any further from the truth. In fact, it had been _Ben_ who had outed Pedro to Balthazar in the first place.

“How are you going to fix this one?” Ursula asked. Ben wanted to comment on how much better her stutter had gotten as of late, but he didn’t want to jinx it. The worst thing he could do was make her feel even more self-conscious about it.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Every step forward that they take is immediately followed by two steps back.”

“D-Do you still want me to ‘d-document their love story’?” Ursula used air quotes, once again reiterating her doubt at Pedrazar’s compatibility.

“Yes. Definitely, yes. I have a plan for that footage that will not be deterred!”

Ursula raised her eyebrows. “Care to share?”

Ben rubbed his hands together like a cartoon villain. “All in good time, my pretties, all in good time.”

“There’s only me here.”

“Don’t kill my dream.”

Ursula gave a small smile. “You sound like B-Bea.”

“Huh? _Weird_.”

“Hey, guys.” Balthazar had emerged, his hand strapped, a strangely vulnerable expression on his face. His eyes scanned the waiting room automatically.

“How’s the hand, buddy?” Ben asked, jumping to his feet.

Balthazar glanced down at his hand, as if it were an afterthought. “It’s just bruised. No big deal.”

“You were in there for a long time,” Ursula fretted. “Are you sure everything’s alright?”

“Oh. Well, uh, the doctor actually said that there was this new type of operation that we could maybe try. You know, if I wanted to.”

“What would it d-do?” Ursula asked curiously.

“If it worked? I could almost completely regain the use of my hand. But there’s no guarantee…”

“But, still!” Ben cried. “That’s awesome! Are you going to do it?”

Again, Balthy glanced surreptitiously around the room. “I don’t know. I guess I'll have to talk to my parents about it.”

Ben wanted to stay in the happy glow of this news forever. Complete denial—that was more his style. But Ursula was a realist, and had no choice but to tell him. Like Ben, she couldn’t help but notice how preoccupied Balthazar was with looking out for Pedro.

“He was here,” she said, in a low voice. “But he left.”

“He _left?_ ”

Ben twiddled his thumbs sheepishly. “I might have said something…”

Balthazar listened in silence as Ben rushed to explain. When he was done, he sighed and said, “I guess I better have the operation, then. Seems like I’m going to need to upload _Ode to Pedro_ after all.”


	16. Hero Duke and her heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hero Duke Defence Squad comes to order, and there's a shocking surprise in-store for Pedro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating as prolifically as before. I'm actually really sick with pneumonia, so I don't have the energy to write at the moment. But be patient. As my health improves, more chapters will start flowing. Happy NMTD birthday xx

“When’s it due?”

Meg rubbed her stomach affectionately. “A month. And please stop referring to my unborn child as an ‘it’. Use your pronouns correctly, or don’t use them at all!”

“Someone’s been hanging around with Beatrice for too long,” Ben commented, taking a sip of his tea.

Another meeting of the Hero Duke Defense Squad had been called to order. There were a lot of members, but it was rare for everyone to be available at the same time.

“What pronoun _should_ we be using?” Balthazar asked, wincing as he jostled his bad hand. Until he decided whether or not he wanted to try the surgery, the doctors didn’t want to start any intensive treatments. His hand would stay out of action until he made up his mind one way or the other. For now, he was having to drink his hot chocolate left-handed.

“ _She_ ,” Meg said proudly.

“What’re you going to call her?”

“I’m not going to call her anything,” Meg said, “that’s up for her adoptive parents to decide.”

Ben and Balthazar exchanged a glance. Beatrice shot them a _mind-your-own-damn-business_ glare and then brought all attention back to her.

“So, does anyone have any new ideas on how we can clear Hero’s name?”

“Well, Robbie’s back in town now…” Ben said without thinking. “Maybe we can get him to confess?”

Meg dropped the biscuit she was holding. “What? Robbie’s back? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

Beatrice shifted uneasily in her seat.

“W-We only found out recently. W-We didn’t want to tell you unless we knew for sure t-that he was sticking around this t-time,” Ursula said quietly.

Meg nodded slowly, and everyone else breathed a sigh of relief.

“What’s the point in getting him to confess now?” Hero asked, with a defeated sigh. “It’s been so long…everyone’s already made up their minds about me. Don’t you think it’s too late to set the record straight?”

“This has been hanging over your head for so long…” Beatrice began tentatively.

“So?” Hero shrugged. “All the people that matter to me already know the truth. Everyone in this room knows that I didn’t do what Robbie and Claudio accused me of.”

“But what about everyone else?” Balthazar asked.

“I don’t care what they think anymore.”

“You might not care what they think, but this experience has clearly left a mark on you. Are you really going to be able to move on if things stay unresolved like this?”

Hero opened her mouth, and then snapped it shut. “I don’t know.”

“Maybe,” Beatrice began, shooting cautious looks in her cousin’s direction, “if we can clear everything up, Leo might—”

“I don’t want to talk about Leo,” Hero said darkly, and that put an end to that vein of the conversation.

Beatrice grasped around for something else to say. “Hey, Balthy. Have you seen Pedro? I’m kind of surprised he’s not with you, actually…”

Balthazar fiddled with the sleeve of his blazer uncomfortably. “Yeah, nah. I don’t know where he is.”

Beatrice frowned and glanced at Ben. “I’ll tell you later,” he mouthed.

A few hours later, they were no closer to a solution. Ben’s mind was still stuck at the road-block that seeing John in that hospital bed had formed. Everyone else—the ones who meant well, but that who weren’t as invested or as hopeful as he was—kept distracting him by going off on tangents. Pedro turned up right at the end, saw Bea and Balthazar sitting side-by-side, muttered something about a stomach ache, and then rushed back out the door.

“I should probably…” Balthazar’s eyes followed him as he fled.

Ben waved his hand. “Go! Go get your man.”

Balthazar rolled his eyes, but he smiled gratefully, thanked Bea and Hero for the tea, and then hurried out after Pedro. Ben raised his fist like Judd Nelson in _The Breakfast Club_ , just to show solidarity. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Beatrice smile.

“I should probably get home, too,” Meg said. “Robbie might come to visit, what with my due date being so soon. I don’t want to miss him.”

Ursula and Ben exchanged a long look.

“H-How about I drive you home?” Ursula suggested loudly. Meg beamed at her.

With Hero having silently slipped away an hour ago—once Meg and Ursula were out the door, followed by her year nine cronies—there was just Ben and Beatrice left.

“What are we going to do?” Beatrice asked. “I know Hero said that she was over this, but come on! Did you see her? There’s no way she can move on until things get sorted out.”

“I agree,” Ben said, rubbing his face tiredly. “But all of my ideas require a conscious John Donaldson.”

“Maybe we should take a break. Come at this fresh tomorrow.” Beatrice shot him a sideways glance. “They’re playing Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World at the outdoor theatre in town later. Do you want to go?”

“Yeah. That would be awesome! But I’d look pretty stupid sitting there all by myself.”

Beatrice rolled her eyes. “I meant did you want to go _with me?_ ”

“Oh.” Ben’s eyes widened. “ _Ohhh._ ”

Beatrice was watching him expectantly, maybe a little nervously. Ben knew the exact words he needed to say to make her start hating him. He couldn’t lead her on. He had his own girlfriend, his own life to be getting back to. He didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. But he also didn’t want to repeat past mistakes.

“Um, well, I, the movie would be fun, but, uh—”

“Awesome. I’ll see you at eight… _Ben_.”

 

 

Balthazar caught Pedro just as he was getting into his car. Like the lovesick idiot that he was, he hurled himself in front of the bonnet and stayed there, glaring through the windscreen. He wasn’t going to let Pedro leave. Not like this. Not until he’d had a chance to explain. Even if Pedro were to start the engine and plow through him…well, he hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Pedro, who hadn’t even put his seatbelt on yet, rolled his eyes and wound down the window. “I’m not going to run you over, idiot.”

“Oh, right, well, good.” Balthazar straightened up, trying to act like he hadn’t just overreacted.

Pedro sighed. “Get in the car. I feel like we need to have this conversation in a more neutral location.”

Balthazar glanced back up at the Dukes’ house and couldn’t help but agree. It boded well for him that Pedro had said ‘conversation’ and not ‘fight’, although it was kind of implied in his tone.

The car ride was silent. Pedro drove them to Messina High and parked the car. It was the weekend, so no one was around.

“ _This_ is neutral?” Balthazar raised his eyebrows.

Pedro shot him a look and climbed from the car. Balthazar scrambled to follow him.

They stood facing each other at the edge of the school football pitch. The field had become the epicenter for every miracle and disaster that had happened since Ben’s unexpected arrival. It made sense that their almost-relationship would crash and burn there, too.

“Well?” Pedro shoved his hands into the pockets of his letterman jacket. “What do you have to say for yourself? I’d like to see how you’re going to talk your way out of this one.”

“Me too,” Balthazar muttered, and he could have sworn he saw Pedro smile, just for a second.

“Look,” Balthy began, “I know that you think I outed you to Ben, but it really wasn’t like that.”

“Oh? Then what was it like?”

“I didn’t know that you were bi. I didn’t even know that you were questioning. When I fell for you, I was convinced that you were straight and that you’d never like me the way that I liked you.” Balthazar took a deep, shuddering breath and continued, “I’m sorry, I’m no good with words…unless they’re set to music. But believe me when I say: I never told Ben anything. You have to trust me.”

“If you didn’t tell him, then who did?”

Balthazar wanted to tell him the truth, but he knew how crazy it would sound. So instead he said, “No one told him. He guessed.”

Pedro noticed his hesitation and frowned. “You’re lying to me.”

Balthazar could try to deny it, but anyone who had been around him long enough could always tell when he was lying. He just wasn’t very good at deception.

“Alright, someone _did_ tell him, but it wasn’t me. I swear.”

“Who could have told him? The only people who knew about me being bi were you and me.”

“And it wasn’t _me_ …” Balthazar insisted, letting that hang in the air.

Pedro’s brow furrowed. “Are you saying that _I_ told him?”

“Yes! No. Well, it’s hard to explain…”

“ _Try_.”

Ben’s secret wasn’t his to tell, Balthazar knew. But then, Pedro’s true sexuality hadn’t been something Ben should have told Balthazar, either, even if he hadn’t done it maliciously, or even consciously. At the time, he had just been telling Balthazar what he wanted to hear.

One day soon, Ben would be gone, back to his own world, leaving Balthazar behind to pick up the pieces of his old life. One of those pieces was Pedro. And if he didn’t try to explain things now, he knew he could potentially lose him forever.

“Well?” Pedro pressed.

So Balthazar told him. He told him everything. It was the right thing to do, or so he hoped. He knew it was a risk. He was sure Pedro wouldn’t believe him. But what other explanation could he give for Ben knowing such a personal detail about him?

Pedro listened impassively. He didn’t even react.

“So. In this…'alternate version of reality', you and I are dating?”

Balthazar wrung his hands together nervously. “Um, yes? That’s how Ben knew about your sexuality. Because, in his world, you’d already come out.”

Pedro nodded slowly, but there was a sharp smile on his face that Balthazar didn’t like.

“I know it’s hard to believe—”

“What’s _impossible_ to believe,” Pedro said, “is that Ben has you so tightly wound around his little finger that you’d believe any of this crap. _Alternate dimensions?_ For fuck’s sake, Balthy!”

“It’s not like that. He’s honestly just trying to help.”

“By, what? By breaking up me and Beatrice? That’s real convenient for him, now, isn’t it? And even if his bullshit story _was_ true, why would you agree to help him?” Pedro’s eyes widened in realisation. “Have you been baiting me all along? Seducing me away from Beatrice?”

Balthazar opened his mouth to refute the claim, but when he thought about it…wasn’t that exactly what Ben had asked him to do? Sure, his reasons for going along with it had been pure. He loved Pedro, always had. But he would never have chased Pedro with so much confidence if Ben hadn’t given him hope first. 

Pedro caught his hesitation again and he jerked back, as though he’d been struck. “W-Why would you do this to me?” he asked, voice quavering. “Why would _you_ , of all people, do this to me?”

“Because I lo—”

_RIIIIIIING!_

_RIIIIIIIING!_

They both jumped, as their phones started to ring almost simultaneously. Balthazar wanted to ignore his and try to salvage the situation, but Pedro had already answered his own, turning his back on Balthy, possibly for good.

Balthazar sighed and checked the caller ID. He sighed again when he saw who it was. “Hey, Ben. Now’s not really a good time…”

“I need you!” Ben sounded panicked. “Something terrible has just happened!”

“What?”

“Beatrice,” he said dramatically. “ _Beatrice_. Likes me. She _likes_ me. She’s asked me out on a date for tonight.”

“So?”

“ _So!_ She’s not supposed to fall for me. I have a girlfriend!”

Balthazar was struggling to feel sympathy for him, but having the love of you life—even an alternate dimensional version of them—falling in love with you? It was a hardship he would gladly suffer.

“I don’t know what to tell you man, I—”

“Just get over here, quick!” Ben cried, and then he hung up.

When Balthazar turned to face Pedro, he saw that the other boy had ended his call, too.

“I really want to finish this conversation,” Balthazar said, “but that was…well. I have to go.”

“Balthazar…”

“I’m really sorry, okay?” He turned to leave, but Pedro caught his arm.

Balthazar looked up at him questioningly. Only now did he realize the strangeness of his expression, the paleness of his face.

“It’s John,” Pedro croaked.

Balthazar’s stomach dropped. “Oh my god, man, I’m so sorry—”

“No,” Pedro looked up and met his gaze. There were tears in his eyes. “He’s awake. My brother just woke up.”

“T-That’s amazing!” Balthazar frowned, “Wait. Why don’t you seem happy about this?”

“I _am_ happy! Of course I’m happy! It’s just…”

“Just what?”

Pedro stared straight into his eyes. “Apparently, as soon as he woke up, he started asking for someone.”

“Who?”

“ _Benedick_."


	17. John and Benedick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben visits John in hospital and then gets ready for his date with Beatrice.

“Hey, Balthy! Oh, you brought Pedro with you. Excellent! Does this mean that you guys made up?”

If there was one thing Benedick Hobbes was bad at, it was reading a room. He was sitting on Balthazar’s bed when the two of them came barging in. Ben wondered if maybe the awkward silence that followed them into the room had something to do with Pedro finding an ex-boyfriend of his crush sitting on said crush’s bed, in his underwear, drinking tea out of a gay pride mug.

“Sorry about the…nakedness. I was trying to decide what to wear to my non-date with Beatrice. But then I got thirsty, so I made myself some tea...”

Balthazar knew that Ben wouldn’t stop rambling unless they made him.

“John woke up.”

Ben stopped. Blinked. “Huh?”

Pedro tapped his foot impatiently. “John. My brother. John Donaldson. Remember him? Yeah, he woke up an hour ago. And he’s asking for you.”

“Me?” Ben sounded oddly touched. He put his mug aside and pulled on a t-shirt.

“What I want to know is,” Pedro said, pushing his fingers through his hair, “if you’re really not from… _around here_ , like Balth says, then how does my brother know your name?”

Ben glanced sharply at Balthazar. “You _told_ him?”

“Yeah,” said Balthy unapologetically.

Ben thought about it for a second and then shrugged. “Cool.” He turned to Pedro. “If your brother just woke up from a months-long coma, why aren’t you with him?”

“Because Mum asked me to find this ‘Benedick’ and tell him to get to the hospital, ASAP. She thought he might be John’s secret boyfriend—they always suspected, you know—but I know differently. So, what the hell?”

Ben glanced between the two of them, affronted. “Well, don’t look at me! In my world, John and I are friends, sure, but the only conversation I’ve had with _this_ John was while he was unconscious!”

Pedro barked out a laugh. “This is ridiculous!”

“You don’t believe me?” Ben bristled.

“Of course not! You’re the guy who claims he’s from another dimension! Forgive me if I have to take everything you say with a pinch of salt.”

Balthazar frowned. “This isn’t helping, guys.”

“I’m _sorry!_ I just found out that my bo— _friend_ , and now my brother, are both being manipulated by the same lunatic, who thinks he’s Doctor-fucking-Who! _Excuse me_ for not being one-hundred-percent okay with it!”

“Balthazar’s right,” Ben said, trying not to glare, “we don’t have time for this. You need to see your brother, and apparently so do I.” He squeezed Balthy’s shoulder bracingly. “Let’s go.”

Pedro stared at Ben’s hand on Balthazar’s shoulder and a shadow fell across his face.

Balthy didn’t notice this, as he took Pedro’s hand tentatively and tangled their fingers together. “Ben’s right. We should go. John probably wants to see you.”

Pedro jerked his hand away and stormed out the door.

“You guys didn’t kiss and make up, did you?” Ben said, after a beat.

Balthazar blew out a breath and shook his head.

Ben sighed. “Damn.”

 

 

The nurse, who’s name Ben had finally learnt was ‘Joy’, watched him curiously over the reception desk as he waited for the Donaldsons to finish smothering their son. He had a feeling that he would be there a while. And it wasn’t even like he had Balthazar to pass the time with.

It had been universally decided that Balthazar being at the hospital right now would only complicate things. Pedro’s parents would be there, questions might be raised, and Pedro didn’t need any added stress.

At least, that was the bullshit rationalization that Balthy had made when Pedro asked him to leave. So Ben was stuck outside John’s hospital room, making awkward eye-contact with the nurse, who seemed convinced that—despite his denial of it the first time they’d met—he was John’s secret boyfriend. He could tell that the Donaldsons were wondering the same thing. Hopefully Pedro would set them straight before Mr Donaldson came out and tried to give him the ‘if you hurt my son, I’ll hurt you’ speech. He’d already had that from Leo Duke, back in his own world. And from Bea’s parents via Skype. And from Hero. Pedro, Meg, Ursula…pretty much everybody, really. Although he wasn’t sure why. He was in much more danger of having his heart broken by Beatrice than she was of having her heart broken by him.

After what felt like hours (because it was _literally hours later_ ), the Donaldson clan came filing out into the corridor.

“I’m not sure how I feel about letting a stranger in to see him,” Ben heard Ann whisper wearily.

“It’s okay,” Pedro said, after a long pause (too long, in Ben’s opinion), “I know him. He’s…it’s okay, I promise.”

“Don’t worry, Donaldsons. I _got_ this!” Ben said brightly.

Pedro grabbed him by the arm and steered him into John’s hospital room. “Make it quick, alright? I don’t know what you’ve done to Balth to make him trust you, but I sure as hell don’t.”

Ben rubbed his arm, pouting, as Pedro disappeared back out into the hall.

“Benedick.”

His voice was weak from disuse, but when Ben turned, it was the same John Donaldson staring back at him. Albeit skinnier, sallower, and surrounded by bouquets of brightly-coloured flowers, stuffed animals, and DVD box-sets of old British comedies.

Ben smirked. “Looking right at home there, chuckles.”

John frowned. Ben could see the familiar glint of perception in his dark eyes. It felt nice to finally have a secret so convoluted that even John Donaldson couldn’t riddle it out.

“You rang?” Ben said airily, sitting down on the chair next to his bed.

John tilted his head slightly, his eyelids already drooping with exhaustion. But for a guy who had only just come out of a coma _that day_ , he looked pretty damn good.

“You know how they say that people in comas can hear everything you’re saying?”

“That’s what I always liked about you, chuckles,” Ben said, “No beating around the bush.”

John’s frown deepened and he continued, “Well, _normally_ , when coma patients wake up, they don’t really remember what they heard.”

Ben leaned forward, ready for the ‘big reveal’. He had a feeling he knew what was coming. Trust John Donaldson to defy the laws of medicine.

“But I do,” John said. “I remember everything. And I remember what you said to me.”

“How do you know it was me?” Ben asked quickly. “I don’t remember ever saying my name.”

“The nurses were talking about you after you left. You signed your name in the visitors log and they thought it was funny.”

Ben tried not to take offence to that. “I’m happy to see you alive and awake, John, I really am…but why am I here, exactly?”

“Because you said that you would help me if I woke up. So…help me.”

Ben stared at John, and John stared back at him. Even back in his world where the two of them were friends, he had never seen the younger Donaldson looking so vulnerable.

“There’s only so much that I can do…”

“What are you saying?”

“That the person who can help you fix everything is in this room right now. And he isn’t me.” Ben smiled at him sympathetically, “I think you know what you need to do.”

“You’ll help me?”

“Of course. A promise is a promise!” Ben glanced surreptitiously at the nurse in the corner, before leaning in to whisper, “Do you want to make a blood-oath? Become sworn brothers? I’m sure there’s a spare scalpel lying around here somewhere…”

John looked at him like he was the biggest idiot on the planet. “Benedick. I’m in here for trying to _kill_ myself.”

Ben flinched. “Oh, right.” He peeked at John through his eyelashes. “You, uh, you’re not going to be, um, doing that again, are you?”

John rolled his eyes. “ _No_. Apparently suicide is just another thing that I’m not very good at.”

“Don't say things like that.”

John sighed. He lowered his voice. “Dad and Ann are putting me into therapy. The doctor suggested some anti-depressants that might help. And Pedro and I are going to be seeing a relationship councilor together, as if this all wasn’t humiliating enough…”

“He was really worried about you, you know? He blamed himself. He’s become a whole new person because of it.”

“I guess my plan worked then,” John said, with only a hint of bitterness, “Everyone really did get to see a different side to the great Pedro Donaldson.”

Ben took that as his cue to leave. He hated seeing his friend like this, but he wasn’t a trained psychologist—he wasn’t equipped to give John the help he desperately needed. He knew he had to leave that to the professionals.

“Benedick,” John called him back as he headed for the door, “when I’m ready, you’ll come?”

“Of course. Just tell me when and where. A follow up to this conversation is definitely something that should happen.”

Ben’s hand was on the door when he heard: “Oh, and Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“When you get back to _your_ version of reality, make sure you remind alternate-dimension-me that he’s lucky to have you as a friend.”

Ben’s lips twisted into a wry smile. “Will do, buddy.”

 

 

After everything that had happened, a small part of him had been hoping that Bea would just forget about their ‘date’. But it was Beatrice, and he should have known better.

When Ben got back to Balthazar’s house just before eight (the Donaldsons had taken him out to dinner to pump him for information about their troubled son), there she was, wearing nice jeans, chucks, and a fancy top that he was sure he had seen hanging in Hero’s closet. This, for her, was making an effort. A colossal one. Which under normal circumstances—in another _world_ —Ben would have been overjoyed about. But now…

“Look who’s here,” Balthazar said, smirking at him around a mug of hot chocolate. They’d obviously been waiting for him for a while, since Bea’s tea was half-drunk, which meant that she’d arrived early. Another good—but in this case, bad—sign.

“Having a boyfriend has really changed you,” Ben hissed, shooting Balthy a look of betrayal.

Balthazar stood up. “I think I’ll leave you two alone.” He wagged his eyebrows at Ben as he strutted from the room, head held high, refusing to acknowledge the ‘boyfriend’ comment.

Ben glanced nervously at Beatrice. “Oh, hi!” he said, falsely bright.

“How’s John?”

Ben relaxed slightly. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. He’d been having horrible daydreams of her throwing herself at him, but that wasn’t like her at all.

“He’s awake. _Physically_ , he’s on the mend.”

“And the rest?”

“They’re getting him some help,” Ben said, “Him _and_ Pedro.”

Beatrice nodded slowly, putting her empty mug on the counter. “That’s good. But I still think the best medicine for Pedro is in that room,” she said, jerking her thumb towards Balthy’s closed door.

Ben quirked a smile. “Maybe one of these days he’ll finally take his head out of his ass and realize it.”

Beatrice smiled. There was a comfortable pause…which she then shattered by saying, “Are you ready to go? The movie starts in twenty minutes.”

“Uh, yeah, um, just give me a sec…” Ben backed away, stumbling into Balthazar’s bedroom and slamming the door behind him.

Balthazar looked up from the sheet music he was pouring over. “Trouble in paradise?” he said, with a toothy grin.

“Oh, fuck! What do I do? _Please_ tell me what I should do.”

Balthazar sat up and put on his serious face. “Benedick. You have a girlfriend, who you love. That girl out there—she may look like her, but she isn’t your Beatrice. The decision is yours, but I think you know that there is really only one course of action here.”

“You’re right,” Ben said, nodding sagely, “I’m going to have to act like a complete un-heroic douchebag and make her hate me. It’s the only way.”

Balthazar sighed. “Don’t even know why I bother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I'm new to Tumblr, so I adhere to your expertise on this...but do you think I should put this fic on the NMTD Tumblr tag? Just wondering. Hope you guys enjoy the chapter <3


	18. John and Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John makes his big confession and Ben recounts his run-ins with the Duke cousins.

A week after he woke up from his coma, John Donaldson was released from hospital.

The video went up a day later.

They titled it ‘Confession’. That was Ben’s idea. He knew how effective the video of the same name had been in _his_ world and he hoped that it would bring about the same peaceful resolution.

Within an hour, the video had gone viral. At least around Messina. Ben doubted there was anyone who hadn’t seen it. Balthazar’s phone had been ringing off the hook with people clamoring to know the full story. Somehow everyone seemed to know that he had helped John film the video. Ben and Balthy took turns telling them all to fuck off. Neither of them felt the need to add anything to what John had already said.

And the one person Ben actually _wanted_ to talk to about all of this, well, she hated him now. Which, although it had been his intention, felt pretty damn awful.

Balthazar looked at him from the bed, eyebrows raised. “Are you okay? You never did tell me how your date with Beatrice went.”

Ben groaned and slammed his face into the desk.

“That bad, huh? Sucks.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that my plan was stupid? Why didn’t you warn me?”

“Would you have listened if I had?”

“No,” Ben said sullenly, “but you could have _tried_.”

Balthazar looked down at his injured hand. “I’m sick of trying.”

Ben tried not to read too much into that. He was too preoccupied wallowing in his own misery. “None of this means anything if I’ve hurt the one person I care about the most,” he sighed, consulting his list. Finally, he had been able to remove a few of the names.

John’s was first. Maybe he wasn’t fully recovered—it would be a long road before he was able to forgive himself—but the right steps were being taken. He was awake, he and Pedro were finally talking, and he had friends now to look out for him.

Balthazar had been the first to visit him in hospital. Ben hadn’t asked him to do it—wasn’t even aware that he had been thinking about it—but he was glad that Balthy had taken the initiative. John needed a support system. Someone who wasn’t going to judge him. Balthazar was exactly the right person for that job. As far as John was concerned, all the pieces were falling into place. Someday, maybe not tomorrow, or the next day, but someday, John would be alright. Ben believed that wholeheartedly, so he crossed the younger Donaldson’s name off of his list.

Then there was Cora. All he’d had to do was take her back to see John, now that he was awake. She confessed everything: the fight at school, her expulsion. Apparently she had beaten up a kid for making an insensitive joke about John. Now that John was awake, she was more rational, calmer. Her parents were even optimistic about being able to get her into another school in time to graduate.

Hero’s name he crossed off a little more tentatively. Yes, her name had been cleared. Yes, everyone was extremely apologetic and welcomed her back into the fold with open arms. But Hero’s wounds ran deep. Claudio, despite the truth coming to light, was still acting like an ass. He apologized for publically slut-shaming her, but seemed to think that he was justified in not trusting her in the first place. Apparently the incident at Pedro’s party still weighed heavily on his mind. On the positive side, though, Hero had started wearing knee-high socks and skirts again. Ben took that as a good sign, a sign that she was finally starting to move on, however superficial it might be.

He’d actually spoken to her, not long after the video came out, and while he wasn’t entirely happy with the outcome, it seemed that her recovery wasn’t without hope:

 

_Ben was waiting for Balthazar outside the Messina High School gates. They were meeting up at the Donaldsons’ house later to watch Blackadder with John. Ben knew how awkward things were between Pedro and Balthy right now, but he was pleased that they could at least put their differences aside for John’s sake. John, actually, had figured out some of what had happened between the two of them on his own, and was unofficially helping Ben in his quest to get them back together._

_Team Love Gods, Part Two: Alternate dimension edition._

_“Ben?”_

_He glanced over, tugged free of his thoughts, to see Hero standing there, watching him hesitantly._

_“Hero. Hey, how are you? Is everything…?”_

_“Everything’s great, actually, thanks to you.”_

_Ben ducked his head modestly. “John decided to confess all on his own. I had nothing to do with it.”_

_Hero gave him a knowing smile, “I’m sure he did.” Her smile faded._

_“Are you sure everything’s okay?” Ben asked, glancing around to make sure that no one else was listening in._

_“I guess I just expected…redemption doesn’t exactly feel how I thought it would feel, you know?”_

_“First of all, this isn’t redemption, it’s_ exoneration. _” Ben felt the need to make that distinction. It was enough to bring back her smile. “And, second of all, it’s going to take time for things to get back to the way they were. You just have to be patient.”_

_“Everyone’s being so nice to me. It’s hard to believe that these are the same people who were whispering behind my back only a couple days ago.”_

_Ben put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry about everyone else. Worry about yourself. And if you don’t know who to trust, just remember that there were some people who believed you all along.”_

_Hero nodded slowly. She still looked troubled._

_“What do you need to get closure?” Ben asked gently._

_Hero shrugged helplessly. “I guess I’ll know it when I see it?”_

_“In the meantime, just focus on moving on. Spend time with Beatrice. With your brother. Things will get better, you’ll see.”_

_“Thanks, Ben.”_

_“You're welcome, Hero.”_

 

Next on the list was Leo. Once the video became public, someone (Ben had a funny feeling he knew who) had the good sense to send it to him. After all the drama at her sixteenth birthday, Leo had taken a job offer in Australia on a whim and moved out almost immediately, leaving Beatrice in charge of Hero. About a week after the video was posted, Leo arrived on their doorstep with tears in his eyes. He apologized so many times that even Beatrice started to grow tired of hearing it. Like John and Pedro, the Duke siblings had a lot to work through. But Ben was confident that they would, so Leo was crossed off of his list as well.

But for as many people as he had crossed off, there were still more that he had yet to help. Claudio, he suspected, could never be saved. Robbie had apologized, had clearly seen the error of his ways, but he was still jerking Meg around and Ben didn’t know how to make him stop. Meg, Ursula, Ursula’s weird year nines…he had done all he could to help them, he just wasn’t sure that it was enough. And then there was Bea, Pedro and Balthazar. The three people closest to him. They were all better off than they had been when he arrived, he was sure of it, but still he felt like he had somehow messed things up for them as well. Beatrice now hated him. Pedro and Balthazar were at odds. He needed to fix things before he left—or maybe, even, in order _to_ leave.

“What happened?” Balthazar asked, sitting up.

Ben met his sympathetic gaze, and the whole story came flooding out.

 

_“Alright,” Ben said, “I’ve got one for you. I think you’re going to like this one; it’s a bit of a brain-teaser. You have the power of invisibility, but you’ll never be able to drink tea again. Thoughts?”_

_“Well, the_ obvious _answer is to be invisible.”_

_Ben felt himself start to smile prematurely. It was the like he was replaying the greatest hits of his and Beatrice’s relationship._

_“And why is that?” he asked, anticipating her answer with a smirk._

_“Tea is unnecessary.” Beatrice shrugged, dipping her hand into the bucket of popcorn sitting between them on the arm-rest. “It doesn’t give you anything you need.”_

_Ben gasped theatrically. “How_ dare _you!”_

_Beatrice laughed. “This is because you’re English, isn’t it?”_

_“I don’t know if I can be in a relationship with someone who hates tea. I really don’t.”_

_“I_ like _tea. I just don’t think my life would be ruined without it.”_

_Ben smiled at her, conceding the point. Not at all something he would normally have done, but it was hard to argue with this world’s version of Beatrice. She was his Bea,_ before _they started dating. He wondered if this was how they would have acted around one another if he hadn’t shut her down so stupidly when they were fourteen. Despite everything, he preferred the way things had worked out in his world. It hadn’t been pretty—wires had been crossed, feelings had been trampled on—but somehow it had made them closer as a couple. Plus it made for hilarious ammunition when swapping embarrassing stories with their friends._

_“Pecked to death by flamingoes, or—?”_

_“No!” Beatrice cried, clapping a hand over his mouth. “This is a da-mutually beneficial sharing of company. We’re supposed to be enjoying ourselves. Not making a scene in the middle of the cinema.”_

_When she had lowered her hand, Ben said quietly, “I thought that was how we flirted?”_

_Beatrice looked up at him, doing that thing with her eyes that always made him melt. It was getting more and more difficult to differentiate her from her other-world self. The girl sitting beside him_ wasn’t _the love of his life. He had to remember that. The love of his life was in another world, probably out of her mind with worry about him. He had to stay focused on the mission._

_But he really,_ really _didn’t want to._

_Steeling himself, Ben said, “You know, I have a theory about relationships.”_

_“What a surprise,” Bea teased, “You have an opinion on everything. Go ahead.”_

_“Friendships—relationships—whatever, they’re kind of like…like butterflies, right?”_

_Beatrice frowned. “In what way?”_

And here comes the death blow.

_“Well, I mean, they die in three days, really, don’t they? Relationships are stupid, right? Friendships are better. It’s when they develop that things get complicated and messy. Personally, I don’t know why people bother.”_

_Beatrice looked like she couldn’t tell whether he was joking or not._

_“This,” Ben said, gesturing between them, “this is better. Just two bros, hanging out, a little casual flirting. Anything more than that would just be…”_

_“What?” Beatrice snapped._

_Ben avoided her eye._ “Bleurgh.”

 

When he had finished his story, there was a full minute of silence before Balthazar knew how to react. 

He stared at Ben through his fingers. “Dude, you _didn’t._ ”

“I did.”

“Wow. Diplomacy is _really_ not your strong suit.”

Ben sighed. “I’ve fucked things up, haven’t I?”

Balthazar smiled, a little sadly. “Join the club.”

 


	19. The Donaldson brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Ben hatch a plan to make Pedrazar happen.

“You have to help me get Pedro and Balthazar together.”

John looked up from the book he was reading, eyebrows raised, expression less-than-amused. He didn’t look impressed that Ben had barged into his bedroom without knocking.

“And why should I do that?”

“Because this could be a moment of redemption for you,” Ben said, sitting down next to him on the bed. “Forget Team Evil, we need to form Team Love Gods: Part Two.”

John considered him for a moment. “Let me guess. That’s what we did in your world?”

“Yes! And it worked!”

“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe not everything is transferable? The Pedro and Balthazar in this world have led different lives to the Pedro and Balthazar in yours. Not everything is going to effect them the same way.”

Ben frowned. “You don’t think my plan will work?”

“Has it so far?”

Ben had to concede that point. For all of his scheming, Pedro and Balthazar still weren’t together. In fact, despite all his best efforts, they actually seemed to be growing further apart. 

“What do you suggest we do?”

“Occam’s razor.”

Ben’s brow furrowed. “The simplest plan is often the best. So…what? We just…talk to them?”

“Exactly.” John put his book aside, straightening up. Ben took a moment to notice how much better he looked, even after just a few short days. “I’ll talk to Pedro, you talk to Balthazar. And then we put them in a room to work out the rest for themselves.”

“Communication _is_ key,” Ben mused.

“Then why do you look so disappointed?”

“Well, no, I mean…we’re just going to _talk_ to them? Where’s the fun in that?”

John smiled wryly. “Do you want to have fun? Or do you want your friends to be happy?”

Ben muttered something unintelligible. He raised his voice, “I hate that you’re always right.”

“Not always. Remember, we’re only in this mess because of me.”

“Actually, we’re in this mess because I outed Pedro to Balthazar, but somehow made it seem like Balthazar had outed him to _me_.”

John looked at him, dead-pan. “You’re right. This is all your fault.”

“Did you just make a joke?” Ben stared at him in shock.

“Maybe. Maybe not. You can’t prove anything.”

“Can we at least keep the name?” Ben asked, after a pause.

“Team Love Gods?” John arched an eyebrow. “Really?”

Ben shrugged. “I’m feeling nostalgic. What can I say?”

“Fine. Whatever. When do you want to start?”

Before Ben could answer, a voice called out from the hallway, “John! I’m home! Are you in?”

“We can start now.” Ben slid off John’s bed, just as Pedro knocked hesitantly on the door.

“Are you in there, bro?”

“Good luck,” Ben whispered, and John rolled his eyes.

Pedro took a step back, startled, as Ben opened the door from the other side.

“Ben?” His expression darkened. “What are you doing here?”

“Just visiting.” There was a protracted pause. “Well! I’ll just be going then. See you around, Pedro!”

Pedro watched Ben go, looking bemused. “How did he get in here?”

“I have no idea,” John said truthfully.

Pedro glanced back at him. Things were still tense between them. Now that all of the cards were out on the table, neither of them really knew how to act around one another anymore.

“Do you need anything?” Pedro asked gently, avoiding his brother’s eye.

“Actually, yeah. I need to talk to you about something.”

“You’re not about to tell me that Ben is cheating on Beatrice with Robbie, are you?”

John raised his eyebrows.

Pedro winced. “Too soon?”

“Little bit.”

“Sorry.”

Pedro sat down at John’s desk, turning the chair around to face his brother. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Balthazar.”

Pedro’s reaction was instantaneous, and very telling. First, he looked confused. Then his eyes almost seemed to smile. Then the anger and betrayal hit, followed by hurt and longing.

“What _about_ Balthazar?”

“You like him.”

Pedro bristled. “Is that what Ben told you? Because—”

“Ben didn’t need to tell me,” John interrupted quietly. “It’s written all over your face. I honestly don’t know how everyone else can’t see it. I guess some people are just oblivious to the obvious.”

Pedro pushed his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, okay, fine. I _did_ maybe, sort of, have feelings for Balth. But he ruined that when he outed me to Ben.”

“He didn’t out you. Ben did.”

Pedro glanced up incredulously. “Don’t tell me you believe this Ben’s-from-another-dimension crap, too?”

John caught his gaze and held it. “Yes, I do.”

“Why?”

“Besides the obvious? Because Balthazar believes him. And from what I’ve seen of Balthazar, he’s one the most honest, sensible people there is.”

Pedro hesitated. “But…but it’s just so _ridiculous_ …”

“It all comes down to trust,” John said bluntly. “Do you trust Balthazar, or don’t you?”

Pedro opened his mouth, and then snapped it shut again.

John lowered his eyes. “I’m your younger brother. I know I haven’t given you any reason to, but could you trust me at least once?”

Pedro sighed. “Say I _did_ suspend reality for a moment and allowed the idea that Ben isn’t from our world. What then? Things between Balthazar and I are so fucked up right now that I don’t even know who should be apologizing to who. How would I go about making this right?”

“Talk to him. Just like the counselor said.”

“What if I don’t have feelings for him anymore?” Pedro challenged.

“Well, we both know _that’s_ a lie. But if you’re dead set against dating him, why not just suggest that you both stay friends? That is, assuming you still want him in your life…?”

Pedro sighed. “I do. I really do.”

John smiled knowingly. “Then just talk to him. What harm can one conversation do?”

Pedro laughed bitterly. “You obviously don’t know me very well.”

“That’s kind of what the couples counseling is for.”

“Please stop calling it that.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because it annoys you. And _that_ amuses _me_.”

Pedro gave a small smile.

John examined his expression curiously. “What?”

Pedro shrugged. “Nothing. Well. I think I just realized what it’s really like to have a younger brother. And I kind of like it.”

John flushed slightly, but when he caught Pedro smiling tentatively up at him, he couldn’t help but smile back.

 

 

“No! I don’t want to!”

“Come on! It’ll help!”

“No, it won’t!”

Ben opened his bedroom door, shoving a very disgruntled Balthazar inside. When he saw who was in there with him, his stomach dropped. Pedro held his gaze guardedly.

“You kids have fun,” Ben beamed around at the two of them, before slamming the door. At least he wasn’t immature enough to lock it. 

Balthazar hesitated.

“We need to talk,” Pedro said, indicating for him to sit down.

“It sounds like you’re about to break up with me,” Balthazar quipped. “Which wouldn’t make any sense, because we were never really together.”

Pedro grimaced slightly. “ _Please_ , Balth.”

Balthazar sat. Clasped his fingers together on his lap to keep them from shaking. His injured hand still ached, but he had booked the operation to get it fixed. And it wasn’t just about Pedro anymore, either. The idea that he might someday be able to play the piano and guitar again…it was all he ever dreamed about.

“Look,” Pedro began, “I’m not going to say I believe about Ben. The whole thing is just too much for me. But I am willing to believe you, and if you give me time, it might happen. No promises.”

“I wasn’t worried about you believing me about Ben,” Balthazar said. “I just wanted you to believe that I would never have outed you, or betrayed your trust.”

Pedro ran his fingers through his hair, visibly frustrated. “I think, deep down, I always knew you would never do something like that. You’re a good guy, Balth. I was just finding excuses to push you away.”

“Why?”

“So that I could keep hiding from myself? I don’t know. I just wasn’t ready for everyone to know.”

“I told you to take things at your own speed. I would have waited for you.”

Pedro sighed. “I hoped you would, but what if someone better had come along in the meantime? I wouldn’t have been able to handle that.”

“There is no one better,” Balthazar said bluntly. “Not for me.”

Pedro attempted a smile. It fell flat. “I’m sorry for acting like such an asshole, and for stringing you along. I never meant to hurt you.”

“And I never meant for you to get caught up in Ben’s drama. Sorry about that.”

Pedro laughed. “I think we’re _both_ victims of Ben’s eccentricity. You have nothing to apologize for.”

Balthazar quirked a smile.

The sat there in silence for a while, taking turns peeking at one another.

Pedro was the one to break it. "So, I was thinking...?"

“Can we still be friends?” Balthazar cut across him suddenly. He was so afraid that Pedro had been about to 'break up' with him that he panicked and said the only thing he could to salvage their relationship. 

“Oh.” Pedro glanced at him in surprise. Emotions warred on his face, but Balthazar was too busy avoiding his eye to notice. “Is that what you want?”

“Of _course_ it is. I care about you, Pedro. Whatever else has happened, that’s never going to change.”

“Alright, then,” Pedro said in a small voice. He cleared his throat. “ _Friends_.”

Balthazar felt his chest constrict painfully. “Friends,” he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank-you for all the positive support this story has received. The NMTD fandom really is the best fandom. Have a great day everyone :D <3


	20. Ursula and her Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meg has a belated baby shower and Ben tells Beatrice the truth.

“What is _he_ doing here?”

“I invited him.”

“Why?”

Meg glanced at Ben, who, despite sitting directly opposite them, was pretending not to hear everything Bea was saying. “Because I like him. And he was the one who helped me organize this thing.”

Beatrice crossed her arms petulantly. “I would have helped if you’d asked.”

“I _did_ ask. And what did you say?”

Beatrice shrugged innocently.

“That you would rather l-listen to a day’s worth of Ben’s incessant rants than be put in charge of a baby shower.”

“In my defense,” Beatrice began, but then Ursula shot her a pointed look and she finished, “I have none.”

Ben gasped dramatically. “Are you admitting that you’re _wrong?_ ”

“ _No._ Just that really I hate baby showers.”

“How many baby showers have you been to exactly?” Meg asked, bemused.

“This is my first.” Beatrice plucked at the lacy pink decorations that Hero had smothered the living room in. “Can’t say I’m a fan.”

“Well, too bad. This is _my_ day, not yours, so you had better _suck it up_.”

“If only you’d done that instead of—” Beatrice was cut off by a swift elbow to the gut by Ursula. Ben was trying very hard not to laugh, which was probably one of the reasons why Bea was being so snarky.

Suddenly, the doorbell chimed. Ben sprang to his feet. “I’ll get it!”

Hero came dashing down the stairs. “Was that the door?”

“Would you all please calm down?” Beatrice demanded. “It’s just a baby shower.”

“This is the first event that I’ve thrown since…well, since everything,” Hero explained, anxiously flattening her skirt. “I need it to be a success.”

“And I just want to get this thing started so that we can get to the cake,” Ben added. He felt stifled in the monkey-suit Hero had forced him to wear. Apparently ‘black-tie’ baby showers were all the rage for teen pregnancy cases.

Beatrice rolled her eyes. “I knew this was going to be a disaster.”

Hero took a deep breath and opened the door. Balthazar smiled at her sheepishly. “Hey, Hero.” He had a small, neatly wrapped parcel in his hands.

“Hey, Balthy. Thanks for—”

“—parking was a nightmare. I think someone next door is having a party, too…oh, hi Hero!”

Hero’s eyebrows rose as Pedro came jogging up the garden path. “Did you two…come together?”

Balthazar’s ears reddened. “He gave me a ride.”

“What’re friends for?” Pedro said brightly, flinging an arm across Balthy’s shoulders.

While Hero wasn’t one to meddle in other people’s lives, she couldn’t help but notice the way Balthazar tensed up at Pedro’s touch. Or the way Pedro let his arm rest there for longer than was probably necessary. Ben, hovering behind her, noticed all of this too, and grinned.

“Come on in, guys. You’re the first ones to arrive.”

“I see we’re making some progress,” Ben stage-whispered to Balthy, as Pedro headed inside to say hello to Meg.

Balthazar rolled his eyes. “We’re friends, Ben. That’s really what’s best for us right now. Honestly.”

“Friends,” Ben echoed, wiggling his eyebrows, “with _benefits?_ ”

“Yes; more friendship. Now can you please let this drop?”

Ben laughed. “Look at you, getting all flustered. You’re so adorable, Balthy.”

“Oh, jeez. Don’t call me that. I’m having flashbacks.” Balthazar did indeed look paler than usual.

“I’m glad you look back on our origin story with fondness. Now come and have some of this cake!”

 

 

“You don’t have to do that.”

Ursula glanced at Meg over her shoulder as she stacked the dirty plates. “I-I don’t mind.”

Meg, balancing a plate of cake on her pregnancy bump, said, “No, really. The beauty of having a party in someone else’s house is that you can just leave afterwards, even if the place is a mess.”

Ursula summoned a smile…before taking the stack of dirty plates to the kitchen and setting them in the sink to soak.

“Are you done now?” Meg patted the sofa cushion beside her. “Come and join me.”

Ursula sat down beside her. Together, they stared around at their friends. The baby shower—in true Meg fashion—had descended into more of an impromptu rave. It was 4am and the last guests had only just left.

The living room was a mess. There were red solo cups and soiled napkins strewn across the floor. Hero’s decorations had been ruined. As soon as the last guests had left, Beatrice had dragged the mattress out of spare room and collapsed in the middle of the living room floor. Ben had somehow managed to sidle in beside her. They had fallen asleep spooning, although Ursula was sure that they would deny it later. Hero was curled up on the end of the sofa, her feet tickling Ursula’s leg. Pedro and Balthazar were sitting upright, their backs against the sofa, Balthazar’s head on Pedro’s shoulder.

“I feel like I’m out of the loop,” Meg said, glancing around at their friends. “What is happening here?” She gestured to Ben and Bea, and then her gaze landed questioningly on Balth and Pedro.

Ursula shook her head. “Don’t ask me. I stopped trying to keep track weeks ago.”

Meg smirked. Then her expression grew thoughtful. “You know, you’ve been a really good friend to me these past couple months. I’m glad Ben introduced us.”

Ursula shifted in her seat, embarrassed by the praise. “You’re welcome.”

“But I haven’t thanked you yet.”

Ursula blushed at Meg’s playful tone. “Oh, well, um…”

“You know, your stutter has gotten a lot better,” Meg mused, and just then the plate of cake on her belly jumped.

“The baby’s kicking,” Meg whispered, putting aside her plate. “Do you want to feel?”

Before she could answer, Meg had snatched Ursula’s hand from the sofa and pressed it flat against the highest point of her baby bump. A few seconds later, Ursula’s eyes went round.

Meg smiled at her. “Do you want to be there?”

“Be w-where?”

“With me. At the hospital. When she’s born.”

Ursula tried to gently pull her hand away, but Meg slid her hand over the top, pinning her there.

“Are you sure you really want me?”

Meg’s eyes softened. “It was kind of impulsive of me to ask, but yeah, thinking about it, I really do. The father’s not around, her adoptive parents are virtually strangers to me…I want someone in there who I can trust, holding my hand. That’s you.”  
“We haven’t known each other for very long…”

“So? I’m known for bringing out the best in people. And your best is pretty damn good.”

Ursula finally grinned. “Ok. Yeah. I’d love to be there.”

Meg tangled her fingers between Ursula’s and closed her eyes. “You know what this means, right?” she yawned. “It means that you’re my new best friend. Congratulations! You have zero choice in the matter.”

Ursula stared at Meg, safe in the knowledge that she was too far gone to notice.

“Thank you,” she whispered, as her new—and first—best friend slipped into sleep.

 

 

When Ben woke up, there was something tickling his nose. He was about to sneeze. The situation was dire. He sat up and Beatrice’s arm fell away from around him. Somehow, in the middle of the night, he had transitioned from big spoon to little spoon. Not that he minded. Until he remembered that Beatrice was supposed to hate him, and that he had another version of the same girl waiting for him at home.

Rubbing his nose, Ben realized that it had been her hair tickling him. It had grown long as of late. Pretty. Just like the Beatrice in his world. He shook his head to clear it.

“Good morning.”  
Ben jumped violently. “Holy Sh—Shakespeare! Have you been awake this whole time?”

“Hero woke me up an hour ago.”

“Then why…?” Ben stopped. He _knew_ why.

Beatrice sighed and sat up. “Look, I get it. You don’t like me. You never did. I was just reading too much into things…except I don’t think that I was.”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Ben said, holding up a hand.

Beatrice didn’t look impressed. “You have to let me finish.”

“No need. You’ve convinced me.”

Her expression became guarded. “Convinced you to do what?”

“Tell you everything. The _truth_.”

Ben had been thinking a lot about this recently, ever since Balthazar had revealed his secret to Pedro. What was so bad about telling these people the truth? The worst that could happen was that Bea wouldn’t believe him (ha-ha. Believe. _Bea_ -lieve. Get it?). And if she _did_ believe him, then he wouldn’t have to leave this world with her hating him. It was a risk, but a calculated one. Balthazar had rolled the dice and lost. But even in the worst-case scenario, he was still left with hope. The way Pedro had acted around him last night—like a helicopter boyfriend—had left Ben feeling very confident. Plus, Pedro seemed to be more relaxed in acting the way he wanted to around Balth, no matter how his actions might be perceived. Slowly, _slowly_ , he was growing more comfortable with his own sexuality. Ben had a sneaky suspicion that John had something to do with that. The younger Donaldson brother had apparently decided to use his manipulative powers for good instead of evil these days.

“The truth?” Bea echoed, raising her eyebrows.

“Balthazar and Pedro know, and John figured it out, but I feel like I owe you some sort of explanation for my behaviour lately.”

Beatrice snorted without humour. “You got that right.” But then her expression grew thoughtful. “Wait. You’re not gay, are you? I know that you and Balthazar…but I thought…”

“Balthy and I were never together. It was all just a part of my plan.”

“What plan?”

“My plan to make your life, and the lives of your friends— _our_ friends—better.”

Beatrice frowned. “What was wrong with them before?”

Ben raised his eyebrows. “Think about it. Hero was locked away in her room and miserable, Ursula was too socially awkward to make friends, Balthazar was fleeing from school to school to escape his bullies, you and Pedro—”

“I can kind of see what you mean,” Beatrice cut across him. She never could sit still while he patted himself on the back. It was nice to know that even crossing dimensions couldn’t change that. “But what does that have to do with you? Not that I’m not grateful for your help with Hero, but why go out of your way to do all of this for a bunch of strangers?”

“Because, in my world, we’re not strangers. You’re all my best friends. And you…”

“Me?” Beatrice’s eyebrows shot up.

“You’re my girlfriend. For almost a year now.”

“So you’re saying…that the reason you can’t date me, is because you’re already dating me?”

Ben shrugged. “That’s the gist of it, yeah.”

Beatrice nodded slowly. “ _Huh_.”

Before she could cuff him over the head and ask him how stupid did he think she was, Ben launched into the story of how he had come to be here. She already knew how it began—she had been there at the Messina High football pitch that day.

Beatrice kept her expression neutral throughout. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but he suspected it was nothing good. He was starting to think that telling her had been a bad decision.

“So…” Ben said, when he was done, “what do you think?”

Beatrice fixed him with a critical eye. “I think…that you’re full of shit. I also think that you’re telling the truth. I mean, I always kind of suspected that you were too insane to be from Earth.”

“Or at least this version of it.” Ben grinned.

Beatrice smiled reluctantly back at him.


	21. Ensemble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This AU fic's version of 'Montage'.

**_Message to: Queen Meg, Balthazar Jones, Pedro Donaldson, Beatrice Duke, Hero Duke, The Watch._ **

  _On Sunday I’m organising a picnic. I thought it would be a good opportunity for us to get together as friends and make some brighter memories, after all that has occurred over the past few months. This isn’t an end to the discussion, more of a pause, and I hope that you can all be there._

_P.S. Can you make sure to invite those of us who aren’t on Facebook, i.e. Ben and John._

_Ursula x_

 

Balthazar opened the boot of Pedro’s car and heaved out the three carrier bags full of snacks. “You don’t think we might have gone a little overboard?”

Pedro snorted. “Are you kidding? I could eat all of this _myself_. Come on.” He reached over and took two out of the three bags.

“Chivalry’s not dead, I see.”

Balthazar turned to see Ben’s grinning face. Beatrice was behind him, unpacking her own car, scowling intermittently as Ben continued to ignore the pile of bags that needed carrying. Ever since he had told her the truth, the two of them had been inseparable. Pedro was still dubious about the whole thing, but Beatrice’s faith in Ben went a long way to convincing him.

“Where’s John?” Ben asked, glancing around for the other Donaldson brother.

Pedro sighed. “He said he might come later. I really did try to convince him, but…”

Balthazar gripped his shoulder bracingly.

“Hurry up, Dickface,” Beatrice called. She was already sloughing up the hill carrying a tartan picnic rug.

Ben smiled sheepishly at Balthy. “ _Dickface_ ,” he said, waving a hand dismissively. “It’s an affectionate term, really.”

Balthazar caught Pedro’s eye and they both looked away, smiling. “Sure it is.”

“Stop it,” Ben said, pointing between them, “with your words. And you’re insinuations. I already have a girlfriend, remember?”

Pedro put a hand over his heart. “I promise, we weren’t trying to hint at anything.”

“Yeah. Whatever you say, Ben.”

Ben narrowed his eyes. “Why do I get the feeling that you two are just humoring me?”

“Because you’re clearly a very smart guy.” Pedro dumped a fourth carrier bag into Ben’s arms, “Here, you can take this one.”

When they got to the top of the hill, Beatrice had already set up the picnic rug and she, Hero, Ursula and Meg were all lounging across it, sharing a punnet of fresh strawberries.

Balthazar found his gaze drawn towards Ben. As ridiculous and convoluted as his plan had been, everyone did look all the better for it. He, for one, had never had so many good friends in his entire life. The surgery for his hand was scheduled for next month. And, as murky as things were between them, he had Pedro now. Ben had done all of that, almost single-handedly. Hero was happy and socializing, Meg was moving on from Robbie, Ursula had finally come out of her shell, and…

“John!” Balthazar pointed.

Pedro’s head snapped up. Sure enough, there was a thin, solitary figure, moving towards them across the grass.

Beatrice touched Pedro’s hand and motioned for him to go to him.

Pedro marched across the field, clearly a little self-conscious—or maybe he was just worried about rejection—and threw his arms around John. Balthazar smiled at the way John reared back, as if he was expecting Pedro to hit him. As much progress as the brothers were making, it was going to take a long time, but Balthazar knew them both well enough now to know that they would work it out eventually.

He raised his plastic cup of lemonade. Ben caught his eye and they clinked cups, smiling at each other.

“Stop patting each other on the back,” Beatrice said, eyeing them suspiciously. “You can’t take credit for John waking up from his coma.”

“You obviously don’t know me very well,” Ben retorted.

“What did you do? Talk to him until he had no choice but to wake up, just to tell you to shut up?”

Balthazar smirked.

“Are the children fighting again?” Pedro asked, sitting back down beside him, maybe a little closer than he had before. John sat on his other side, and Balthazar smiled at him encouragingly.

 

 

Ben wasn’t sure who’s decision it was to go to Western Springs that afternoon—he wasn’t even sure how it had happened in _his_ world—but, just like last time, it was a lot of fun. He had become a little too close to these versions of his friends. He felt like, whichever world he ended up in, there would always be someone to miss.

“Hey, guys,” Pedro said, once the impromptu football match had petered out (Bea had won her team the game almost single-handedly and wouldn’t shut up about it), “Truth or dare.”

“We’re not really going to play this _again_ are we?” Meg asked, finishing the braid she was doing in Ursula’s hair.

“Why not?” 

“Because we’re not fourteen,” Ben reiterated, “ _and_ it was a complete disaster last time.” Saying it made him think of Claudio, who would have been the one to point this fact out in his version of things. That thought left him a little unsatisfied, but he pushed the feeling away. Now wasn’t time to dwell on his failures. Now was the time to revel in his success.

“Besides,” he continued, “there’s an easy way to circumvent it. Remember?”

“Yeah. Lie. You said. But…”

Ben threw the football to Pedro, who caught it deftly. “You wanted to play this again. You can answer first. Truth or dare?”

“Fine. Truth.”

“Who do you like?”

Pedro took a deep breath. He seemed to be considering something. “Boys.”

Ben blinked. “What?”

“And girls,” Pedro added. “I’m bi.” He glanced down, picking at the grass in front of him. “Just thought you guys should know.”

There was a short silence while everyone digested this new information. Balthazar reached over and squeezed his hand briefly, which brought a smile to his pale face.

“That wasn’t the question.”

Pedro frowned. “What?”

“Ben didn’t ask _what_ you like,” Beatrice said, staring at his and Balthazar’s hands, a slow smile dawning on her face, “he asked _who_ you like.”

“I don’t, uh…” Pedro glanced helplessly at Balthy.

“Fine,” Ben said, “new question.” He wagged his finger between Pedro and Balthazar. “What’s this, then?”

“Yeah, B-Balthy,” Ursula said, smirking.

“Are you two…?”

Balthazar looked extremely uncomfortable, but Ben couldn’t help but smile when he realized that Pedro…didn’t.

“Ummm, I don’t…” Balthazar was trying to take his cue from Pedro, but clearly he was receiving mixed messages and just sat there, stuttering. “…like him, any more than is necessary…what…what are you even? I don’t—”

“So you don’t like him?” Ben pressed.

“Um…?”

Pedro glanced at him, eyes searching.

“Yeah, sure,” Ursula said, pulling something out of her pocket, “that’s why there’s _this_ video on YouTube.”

Balthazar blanched. He tried to snatch the phone away from her, but John held him back gently.

Pedro took the phone curiously. A few seconds later, the first few notes of ‘An Ode’ started to play. Balthazar gave up struggling and just sat there, blushing furiously.

“You wrote me a song?” Pedro stared intently at the phone screen.

Balthazar shrugged awkwardly. He had only uploaded the video a few days ago, after working on it for weeks with Ursula (he’d had a lot of trouble with the piano accompaniment. He’d have to upload a better quality version if the operation on his hand was successful). It had already received over 10,000 views. “Um, yeah, I guess. You’ve just been so down lately, I wanted to cheer you up…”

To everyone’s surprise and dismay, Pedro started to chuckle, “Oh my god, the song’s hilarious, Balth! You always know how to make me laugh.”

To Ben’s greater surprise, Balthazar smiled. And it didn’t look forced. “Good,” was all he said, and even Team Blessed knew better than to push the matter.

 

 

“Did you get some good footage?”

Ursula fast-forwarded through the hours of video she had taken during the gang’s picnic. “There’s a lot here. It would help if I knew w-what you were looking for.”

“Anything Pedrazar-related, keep on ice for now. Everything else…” Ben caught her eye and smiled, “don’t you think it would make a good montage? Maybe put it to a little music.”

Ursula’s expression grew thoughtful. “Balthazar showed me the lyrics for one of his new songs. If he could come up with a decent arrangement, I think it w-would…you know what? I don’t want to bore you. I’ll figure it out myself.”

Ben grinned.

“What are you two doing over here, all secret-like?” Beatrice approached, hands on her hips, eyebrows raised.

Ben glanced down the street, where Pedro and Balthazar were packing their things back into Pedro’s car. “Just a little side-project.”

“You’re trying to set up Pedro and Balthazar again, aren’t you?”

“You know me so well.”

“Apparently, a lot better than I realized.”

Ben stared at her for a second and then shook his head. “You have no idea how strange it is to talk to my girlfriend, knowing that she is not, in fact, my girlfriend.”

“It’s even weirder for me to know that the reason I can’t date the boy I like, is because he’s already dating _me_.”

They smiled a little sadly at one another. Somewhere in the middle, they had failed to notice Ursula’s departure. Time seemed to stop whenever they were together. 

“So, what’s your plan this time?” Beatrice took a deep breath and nodded towards their friends.

“I think it’s already heading in the right direction,” Ben mused, watching as Balthazar fixed Pedro's windswept hair for him. “They just need a little nudge.”

“What did you have in mind?”

Ben smiled. “I was thinking of taking a page from the Meg Winter handbook.”

“You’re going to get one of them pregnant?”

“No.” Ben’s smile turned diabolical. If he had suddenly grown a thin moustache and started twirling it, Bea wouldn’t have been surprised. “We’re going to kidnap them. _Saw_ -style.”

“You’re going to chain them to the wall and have them hack off their own limbs in order to escape?”

“Well, ok, _Parent Trap_ -style, then.”

Beatrice watched thoughtfully as Pedro helped Balthazar on with his jacket. “Count me in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Wick's video! Yay. Have a great day everyone and I hope you enjoy the chapter. Only four more to go :(


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